Purse = Giant bag of money

So I had a hair cut tonight and I was greatly anticipating it. Not that I was doing anything drastic, but I was trying out a new hairdresser and let's be honest, I haven't had a haircut in many months.

I hopped in my husband's car. It's a little black Golf that happens to be a standard. No problem. I'm very comfortable driving stick.

So I park on the driveway, make the effort to shut off the lights (because I've left them on in the past) and I walk to the door of the house. As I'm opening the door, I turn back and look at the car to be sure the lights are off.

*Items in the diagram may not be to scale.

Happy the lights are off, I turn back to the door to go into the house when it all starts to process. "...The..... car..... IS... MOVING!!!!"

In what feels like super speed, I drop my purse and RUN towards the car. Apparently, at that moment, I believed that I was consumed with super human strength and/or that Chris' little Golf was indeed just a little toy car, because I grabbed the door handle and tried to dig in my heels and stop the car from rolling down the steeply inclined driveway. This is when everything starts going in super slow motion and I start chanting some weird "no.. no... nonononononono!!!"

.

(Oh, and yes, there was car heading my direction.)

That aside, at this moment as the car is gaining speed and going down the driveway, eventually bumping onto the road, I realize that, unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to stop the car (shocker - I know).

Somehow, with the help of God, I wrench open the door and throw myself in, slamming my arm into the doorframe in the process.

Now, I am in the car, still continuing that weird, "no.. no... nonononononono" as I slam on the brakes. Finally, after what feels like a million moments, the car stops rolling and I look to my left and there is a car, also stopped. Now, granted, I'm pretty sure this person has seen the WHOLE scene play out and has had plenty of opportunity to slow down, and laugh and laugh.

But then, as I'm sitting there, heart pounding so loudly that I can't think, I realize that I need keys to start the car to pull it back up out of the driveway. In a panic, I think they are in my purse, which as you remember, is way up by the house.

So I sheepishly try to get up out of the car and realize that the keys are on the seat between my legs, so I start the car and pull it back up the driveway, praying that I won't stall it with my stupidity. I manage to pull it together, pull the car into the driveway, put the E-brake on, shut off the car and walk back to the door.

Seriously, did that JUST happen? It was like the movies, I swear. It was a scene from the movies.

Now, don't you wish you were my hairdresser who got to hear the play-by-play, filled with adrenaline as I struggled to catch my breath and burst into fits of laughter as I kept replaying the scene in my head? C'mon.

It was just like the movies. 

Recipe for Support

It was one of those situations that just hit home. Here I am, expecting my 3rd baby after being blessed with two healthy babies, and a couple in our church gave birth to their first baby - a beautiful boy diagnosed with Hypophosphatasia. These two parents are such an amazing example of faith, courage, determination, love and faith. The story of this family will affect many.
Now we know this couple, and Chris and the dad go way back, but we aren't really friends. We go to the same church and will sit and talk, and I think they are great, but we definitely aren't close. But sometimes, you just feel a nudge, a gentle tug inside and a little voice whispers, "You can do something."

I heard that gentle voice and let it simmer for a couple days. The church was going to be holding a bake sale fundraiser for them and I planned on donating a bunch of baking. But I kept coming back to the thought, "What if it was us? What would I want people to do?"

I had messaged the mom and said, "What do you need? Cash? Gift cards? Meals? How can I help?" and her response was just so sweet, saying that whatever we wanted to donate would be very appreciated.

So, I thought, "If I'm baking cupcakes anyways for the bake sale, I'll advertise trays on FB."

Now I've sold cupcakes in the past and usually max out at around $300 in sales. I didn't even ask Chris. I just put a little blurb up on my FB and Amanda's Creative Cakes status and was overwhelmed with the response. I watched as people ordered tray, after tray, after tray... As much as I wanted to raise money for this family, I never expected to sell more than $500 of cupcakes. As the night went on, I finally had to stop the sale when I realized I needed to bake over 700 cupcakes! Yikes!!

I wound up making 840 cupcakes and every one of them sold and requests were still coming in. In case you are wondering what you need to make 840 cupcakes filled with peanut butter, white chocolate cream cheese, or cookie dough, here's a rough breakdown of what I needed.

20 cakes mixes

20 cups flour

20 cups sugar

1 bottle vanilla
3 bottles of butter flavouring
10 lbs of Crisco
64 cups hand-sifted icing sugar
60 eggs
6L sour cream
1 jar of peanut butter
8 bricks of cream cheese
3L whipping cream
1L milk
5 cups butter
180 balls of cookie dough
8 boxes of pudding
62 foil trays 
51 amazing customers

Once Chris realized how much money we had raised, he made the comment, "Man, you should have sell cupcakes to pay off our camper."

I laughed. Somehow, I don't think this picture of our 1989 camper

would raise as much money as the story of beautiful little Deklyn.

So again, I say thanks. The response was unbelievable. Thank you so much for helping me support this family.

Belonging

So I've been contemplating this post for a while. Belonging. I often feel completely out of place.

Wikipedia describes "Belongingness" in this way. "It is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, or a sports team, humans have an inherent desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves. The motive to belong is the need for 'strong, stable relationships with other people.' This implies a relationship that is greater than simple acquaintance or familiarity. The need to belong is the need to give and receive affection from others."

I don't feel like I belong at my job right now. It's a new, intense, isolating position - I'm not in a classroom and I'm not really part of resource. I don't really work with anyone. A lot of the people that I talked to moved to a different school. Being half time, I don't have a lot of time to socialize. Again, I get that this is simply where I am in life right now, but that doesn't mean it's always fun. I'm finding it hard.

Then I've been struggling with friendships. I know it's the stage of life I'm at right now. It's tough to have "couple" friends because of the age of our children and bedtimes and such. Also, my husband doesn't talk much, which can make things kind of awkward. I'm an outgoing person and he would be perfectly happy to never leave the house again. This will be further complicated when we add a baby into the mix. Again. I do understand that this is the stage we are at, and maybe I just need to loosen up - my kids won't always have a meltdown if they aren't in bed on time.

And then there's this...

I feel this sums me up lately. Over the past couple years, I feel like I've built walls. I'm scared to get hurt or rejected, so sometimes it's easier just to close up and turn away. Then sometimes I'm sad that I'm not someone's "person." You know, that person that you can't wait to text or call when something good happens, or that person that you call to vent or cry to.

Now don't get me wrong. I have some good, good friends - friends that make me smile deep down and friends who love me. I just need to learn to reach out more, instead of waiting to be reached out to.

So, be prepared people. As I'm reaching out and expanding and stretching myself, I just might call you for a coffee date.

Happenings.

- Back to work tomorrow. Yikes. We are so out of routine. We like sleeping in and wearing our pajamas all morning. We try to stick to the usual bedtimes, but we've been having some good afternoon naps that tend to push bedtimes later and later.
- Totally love watching my kids' relationship develop with each other. Chris and I are almost 100% sure that they like each other!

- Gavin's speech is growing by leaps and bounds. We are doing a lot of speech therapy with him and it is paying off. He has become quite the little chatterbox, repeating everything he hears. Chelsea has had to tell him a few times, "Gavin, you don't need to say everything I say!" I love it! He is scheduled for another surgery in March, this time to remove his adenoids, in another effort to improve his hearing and speech. The ear, nose and throat specialist said this will help eliminate his mouth breathing and his need to constantly be drinking.  

- So the news is out that we are indeed expecting #3 due on July 12. We are very excited. I'm slightly terrified about gaining weight, I'll be honest, but it'll be fine. I seem to have really popped over the holidays and finally put the ol' stretchy maternity pants on. Sigh of relief. The only annoying thing is that they never stay up. I'm constantly trying to hike them back up where they belong, which is annoying when the top of them rests under your boobs. It's not a graceful act.

- I've been feeling really good - I haven't been sick once. It's amazing actually. I have finally gotten past the "tired-beyond-all-comprehension-can-i-nap-for-17-hours-a-day" stage. I'm hoping this means that I will feel a little more like myself.

- We bought a van. An 8 passenger van. Man, oh man. Somehow, I woke up one day and was a 30 year old, almost mom of three, who is going to drive a mini van. Yikes. Wasn't I just 17, playing basketball, worrying about my Calculus exam?