Last ones, I promise.

Someone recently commented that it was incredibly vain of me to get a photoshoot done of just myself - no husband, no kids, just me. I was hurt, but I guess depending on how you look at it, it might come across as vain.

I try not to talk about my weightloss. I didn't blog about it until recently, and in person, I don't make an issue out of it. I eat what I need to and want to and life goes on, really. I don't want it to become an issue. But losing weight is a tricky, tricky thing. It can affect relationships and change friendships.

But most importantly, it changes you, or I guess me in this case. I've changed. I'm so much healthier and active and positive than I was 6 months ago. I'm confident and outgoing. I feel much more true to myself.

But, at the same time, I still struggle with the fat girl mentality. I walk into a room and feel like I'm the biggest one in the room. I still avoid certain situations because I think people will judge me. There's that small voice in my head telling me that I'm too fat or not good enough. I know that it's not true in my heart, but it sure seems to be taking my brain a while to figure that out. I am still in disbelief in stores when I shop. It feels surreal to be in smaller sizes. Heck, I teared up in Reitman's a couple weeks ago.

So that's why I did the photoshoot. I needed to see what other people see. I needed evidence for those days when my brain is sending me negative messages. I needed to have pictures that I can look at to remind myself of all the changes that I have made. I'm not printing any pictures out or hanging them around the house. They will stay on my computer and yeah, I'll have a bunch of fun profile pics for a while, but that's it.

Tiff at tlp photography is a friend of mine, so it was awesome just to hang out and truly be myself. The first few pics are the out takes. I can't be serious for long and I definitely am not comfortable in front of the camera and despite my best efforts, cannot "smize" for the life of me and these pictures show that.

I am such a dork. I know. Admitting it is the first step, right?

After today, I promise not to talk about weightloss or this photoshoot any more. I know this blog has definitely been lacking lately, and I am going to make an effort to step it up a little.

I've shared a lot of the shoot on FB, so I'll leave you with these last two images.

Thank you to all my friends who've stood beside me on this journey. You've made me who I am today and I am so so grateful.

My day. Point form.

- Slept in until 7:45. G was up 3 times during the night, but Chris got up with him because I was so exhausted.
- Thanks to miracle herbs like garlic, echinacea, and cleaver's combo, I dodged the cold virus that seems to have invaded my children.
- Took C to preschool and then attempted to take Gavin to the walk in, but there were 22 people ahead of me so I left again.
- Put G down for a nap, baked 2 cakes and 20 cupcakes, made lunch, ate, got ready for work.
- Really enjoyed work today, but day one is always my favourite. I start with a prep and I don't have duty. Had kids begging for math class (instead of art!) and played a xylophone in Science class. Good times.
- Dealt with a crisis today, and I'm so thankful for my colleagues. One of my "tough" students (I say tough because really, it's grade 4) came into school after recess bawling, holding his nose. At the sight of blood, I quickly started ushering him towards the office, out of the chaos of "after-recess-hallway" and shot my co-teacher the look of "I've got this one - you take the other 24" even though it wasn't his time to teach them. Another teacher saw me with the bloody boy and ran off to get her trusty rubber gloves and met me in the office. I went to get an ice pack while she dealt with the blood and soon, we all realized this was a broken nose, not just a bloody one. Oy vey. I went and explained some instructions to her class, the sub next door came over and said she'd help supervise them and I went back to my class to see them all working hard on their math. Gosh - we are a well oiled machine, I tell you!
- Then, after work, I filled out all the necessary paperwork dealing with the above crisis and rushed off to pick up the babes from the most peaceful place on earth - otherwise known as Shirlie's house.
- Upon picking up my son, I knew that he needed to go back to the dr, but I needed to take C to dance. Superdad to the rescue. He took Gavin, an armful of snacks, and a load of patience and went and sat in urgent care for 2 hours. I went to Morden for dance, swung by A&W for Chris, swung by the clinic, dropped off the food, picked up the prescription, and then went to Shoppers to wait for it to be filled. My little man has a double ear infection - again.
- While in Shoppers, talking to the pharmacist, I realized my 3 year old was nowhere to be found. I did the cautious, "Chelsea?" then "Chelsea." A little louder. "Chelsea!" Then "CHELSEA!" and at this point was starting to speed walk up and down the aisles. I know, parent of the year here, but thankfully I found my daughter picking out new earrings. I sheepishly went back to the pharmacist who was all hoity-toity with his "I don't have any children so I can judge you" look smeared all across his face. Sigh.
- And now, I'm home. Such a busy day.

Super Late Love Day

I know, I know. It's over. It was a week ago, but here I am, posting about Valentine's day. We still talk about it every single day. Chelsea loved Valentine's this year. She liked passing out her little valentines and pencils. She adored getting them in return. It was great.

Our day started with one of my favorite men demanding chocolate for breakfast. Thanks Grandma Pat! The smile, the treat in his mouth, the drool on the shirt and the chocolate in his hand... perfection.Our valentines this year were made by the lovely Tiff over at tlp photography. Super cute!
We also made some yummy cake pops for daycare treats and to deliver to a few of our favourite people around town. These turned out huge. Next year, I know to use a smaller cutter!

My boy at 20 months, celebrating love day with cake and Monkey.

And as I rushed into work, I was called to the office to receive a beautiful, huge bouquet of flowers from awesome husband from my favourite florist - Megan at Bloom!

It was a super lovey, dovey day. I hope you were showered upon!

C!

My sweet girl amazes me all the time. I know I often say that, but it's so true. I enjoy her and her wacky personality more and more every day. I am in disbelief that in a few months, this girlie is going to be 4. Four! That sounds so old!

The other day she told me that she wanted to have short hair like mine. Now, please bear in mind that I've been growing my hair out for a year, but still, she wanted it "short" like mine. So, I gladly obliged, because her long hair was getting to be a bit much.

Here is a great "before" shot.

And the "after". She would go get her hair cut every day if it meant having braids and beads in her hair! And she wanted a shot of her little tiny puppy. I'm not posting this for the puppy though. I LOVE her hands. I love the different colours of nail polish all chipped off. This is my girl and I love her to bits.

PTL

I just realized that I never shared the amazing news on here.

My mother in law is cancer-free. Praise the Lord! No cancer; no chemo; no radiation. Seriously amazingly grateful. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers during these past few months. The road of recovery is still a long one, but we are praising God every day for her healing. Thank you Jesus!!

In the scheme of things, our journey with cancer was a short one. She was diagnosed on Dec. 23rd, had surgery on Jan. 6, and got the test results on Feb. 7th. We dealt with 6 weeks of cancer. It was horrible and I cried more than I'm pretty sure I've ever cried. Although deep in my heart, I knew she'd be healed, there is just something about the 'c' word that scares me to the core.

My heart is so heavy now for those who are on this journey towards healing for their families and their loved ones with cancer. I wish that everyone's battle was only 6 weeks, but that's not the case. Until a cure for cancer is found, all we can do is pray.

So thank you, again, for praying for us. Now, let's all pray for those still waiting on their healing. Thank you Jesus for your stripes!

Seriously

Who is this girl? I'm still in disbelief that this is me! Amazing. I had the best day with Tiffany celebrating my journey. I had my makeup done at Shear Bliss and photos taken by tlp photography. I'll definitely post more later, but I figured my blog needed a little attention!