I've been thinking a lot about my life lately - Where I am at. What I am doing. How I am acting. How I am living. What I am pouring into my children. You know... all the easy life questions. ;)
I have been looking back over the past year and a half to two years. I was so unhappy in so many areas and constantly felt like I was searching and struggling. I've struggled with my identity in the past - trying to figure out how to please everyone around me. I was trying to be too many things to too many people. It was exhausting and unfulfilling. I found myself in some unsatisfying relationships that didn't make me feel valued, yet I was trying so hard to make them work. It felt like I was always chasing and falling just a few steps behind. I didn't like it.
So I took a step back, re-evaluated, and really thought about what I wanted life to look like, to feel like and to be like. I started to really pour myself into the good relationships that I have in my life - always starting first with my husband and my kids. This wasn't necessarily intentional; I didn't wake up every day thinking about who my friends are. I just really started to surround myself with goodness and good people.
A few quotes have really stuck with me lately.
"Everything is not equally important. Do fewer things and do them well." I've really taken this to heart in the past few years. I feel like I've really gotten better at this as I learn to say no, although I do feel that I have a ways to go still. I know that I have talents and skills and gifts that I could be using, but for now, I've had to tell myself, "no." Too many of those things take away time from my family. Nope, I can't decorate elaborate cakes anymore. I can't whip up cupcakes every week to make some extra cash. I could choose to be busier at my store - it's easy, but nope. It's fun to motivate others and I'm passionate about the products and how weight loss can change lives, but I only set aside a few hours a week.
I told a friend the other day that I strive for consistency - both in my life and in my kids' lives. That might sound weird, but let me explain.
I like being consistent. I like being even-keeled. I want my kids to know that what to expect out of mommy. I'm passionate about a few things. I'm positive. I cook good meals. I'm even tempered. I love them with everything in me. I eat healthy, take care of my body and think exercise is important. I love reading and I love them reading. I love Jesus. I can't sing well, yet will sing often. I am caring and compassionate but yet I have strict rules and boundaries.
I like being consistent in my friendships. I like having a few close friends. I like being consistent - I want them to know that they are a priority and that I value them. These things don't change.
Then one night, I just sat down and started to take stock of all the amazing things that I have going on. It's so easy to be grateful. Life is so so good. So good.
I read a quote the other day, "Choose to be happy right where you are. Choose to have a good attitude with what you have or with what you don’t have. It’s all in your approach to life." This is so true and I'm definitely working at it.
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. - Marianne Williamson
Okay, this post has been alllllll over the map, but honestly, it's all just so good. Plus I wanted a post. Thoughts from me on a Monday night.
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