I am so stinkin' busy. Last week was crazy with subbing, helping with a garage sale and baking cakes. This week, I've been teaching grade 1 full time, then Monday night I had cake class in Winnipeg and Tuesday night I went to a movie with some friends.
I feel like I'm so tired, I don't even know where to start. Chelsea isn't sleeping through the night anymore, so I'm not getting good night rests. I feel like a horrible mom for going back to work - horrible. The guilt can be overwhelming. I see her for a few rushed minutes in the morning, and then for about 3 hours before she goes to sleep. The idea of missing her days makes me sick to my stomach. The past two days she's gone to bed super early and so that cuts into my time even more. I hate it. hate hate hate.
I should clarify that it's not the job I hate. I'm actually enjoying grade 1. I hate being away from Chels. If I ignore that, the job is going great. I love my students. Grade 1 is pretty good. I get more hugs a day then I have in my whole life I think. I've got some really amazing support people around me and I think I could easily fall in love with this school. It's definitely going to be hard returning to my old school.
But, I think that's it for now. I should go plan a bit for tomorrow, and mop my floor or clean a little.
I really want to bake some cupcakes though... I think this cake decorating thing has become an obsession.
Hearing you talk about how much you miss your daughter makes me sad. The thought of being away from Josiah all day, every day would just be too much for me - he is the only one that gives me hugs and kisses every hour.
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