I'm a modern day failure.

Let me explain. These days, I try to keep things pretty simple. I manage the day to day scheduling, appointments, and maintenance of the house, but there's nothing fancy going on over here. Meals have been pretty simple, with a lot of trips to Subway. I really only get an hour or so in the afternoon with both boys sleeping when I'm free. A lot of times, the only way I can get Eli to sleep is to hold him, so a lot of the afternoon is spent like this.

Now I'd like to blame the "failure" part on having a new baby, but the truth is, it started a long time ago. I'm a modern day failure as a woman. Allow me to explain my shortcomings. ;)

 

1. I'm not into Starbucks, Jonny's, or even Tim's. I'm sure it would be easier if I wasn't so picky about the whole not eating sugar thing, but I tend to be pretty choosy. Also - to further complicate matters, I don't drink much caffeine while nursing. If I go into those stores, I get overwhelmed by all the coffee choices. Affogato Vanilla Bean Frappuccino? Iced tall sugar-free caramel, nonfat, light ice, Starbucks double shot on ice? (Okay, I copied both of those off the internet because I have no idea what they are.) I usually wind up just getting a tea. Then it's so wicked hot I can't drink it for about an hour. I'm classy like that. Remember that I grew up in a very small town, hours away from a city. I learned to drink coffee while working at The Family Diner. There wasn't even flavoured coffee back then. The Family Diner, people. Formally known as The Red Bull. Classy restaurant right there.

 

This being said, my husband and I do love David's Tea. Love. I probably drink 2-3 cups a day. It makes me happy. I feel smart when I drink tea.

 

2. I am not on Pinterest. Admittedly, I love blogging and I'm on FB a lot (although WAY less than I used to be thanks to a newsfeed cleanup), but I have avoided Pinterest. I am sure I would get hooked, pinning all sorts of healthy recipes I would never attempt, cool crafts for the kids that would make a giant mess, or outfits I'll never buy. I often feel like I deserve some kind of award at the end of the day if my kitchen is semiclean, the kids haven't watched 4 hours of tv and/or supper is made. Forget about hand carving soap, making my own chandelier, upcylcing my toilet paper rolls into wall art, (hey people - just because it’s possible to make something yourself, doesn’t mean you should) or any of the recipes on Pinterest that involve cookies stuffed in cupcakes filled with nutella, topped with icing, dipped in chocolate, slathered with caramel and served with ice cream. ;) Honestly, the only reason I'm not on Pinterest is because I know I'd get hooked and I really don't need more time wasters!

 

3. This kinda ties into #2. I am not crafty. Nope. My idea of crafting pretty much stopped in Grade 6. I'm envious of those people who are crafty, but it's simply not me. There are some amazingly creative people out there. People who can take toilet paper rolls and make wall art. ;) I am not creative and I am okay with it. This is why I can't scrapbook. I just want to copy everyone's designs. When I was decorating cakes, I always used pictures to copy - I don't know if there is one cake I did on my own.

 

4. So many people are riding these super awesome beautiful cruiser bikes with baskets. Again, this isn't me. I have a bike that matches my husband's. We bought them from Sportchek years ago before we had kids and we rode fast. Now my bike pulls a blue and green trailer filled with children, water bottles, sippy cups, and goldfish crackers, mostly crushed. Oh beautiful lady with your calm spirit, when you bike past me and my screaming children, I will look wistfully at you as you cruise by and try to keep my envy at bay.

 

5. I don't own any Toms, or any cute shoes really. I really really wish I could. My feet are super wide! I am sad that flipflop season is ending, because I really don't know what to wear on my feet until it's time for the uggs. I'm envious of cute shoes!

 

Now this blog post is filled with all kinds of things that I am not and I kind of wish I was. However, there are a lot of things that I could write about that I love about me, and maybe I will someday. I do blame a lot of my "modern day failures" on the fact that I grew up in a really small town, hours away from a city. I think I turned out not too bad for a girl who was raised in a house in which you could find multiple sets of deer antlers on display, animal skins hanging to dry, and you could hear her honestly ask, "Mom, why are there beavers in our deep freeze?"