The End of an Era

She really didn't take the soother all that often when she was little. We gave up offering it to her. Then at playgroup, one of the grandma's supervising her found an old soother in her diaper bag and stuck it in. There it stayed for the next two years.

Chelsea's soothers "unfortunately" disappeared yesterday. She's now had two naps and a night sleep without one. So far, it hasn't been too bad. It is the end of an era of soothers for her.

But, she's happily passing her torch on to the next generation. ;)

Aww pumpkin.

What a difference a year can make.

Sleep!

I don't understand my son. There. Said it. I keep hoping it'll get better and we'll naturally fall into a rhythm, but it hasn't happened yet.

The kid never sleeps when he should. Take yesterday, for example.

He's up for the day around 9. We eat and play and then around 11:30, I put him to sleep and put him in his crib. He's up around 11:50, but because I don't have time to rock him back to sleep, he's up again.

I'm thinking, "Sweet! Extra long afternoon nap."

He's thinking, "Great. Now I have alllllllll day to play with mommy."

In the afternoon, same thing. I put him to sleep in his crib; he's up half an hour later.

At around 5-6 when he usually sleeps, nothing. Then around 7, he falls asleep, so I put him in his crib and he's up 10 minutes later. Then at 10, Chris puts him to sleep and he's up half an hour later.

He's up, wide-eyed and talking until 1. That's one a.m. THEN, he gets up at 4:30 to nurse and talks and talks and talks. I wrapped him up tightly, lay him in his crib, turn the baby monitor WAY down and go to sleep. 15 minutes later, he's still chatting away.

This time, I re-wrap him again, then use a second blanket just to wrap his legs because he likes moving them around so I tried to limit as much movement as possible, give him his soother and try again.

This time, it's quiet and he sleeps until 9:10.

How do I get a better nap schedule? With Chelsea, we did the cry it out method when she was 4 months old, but she had a much better napping schedule than Gavin does. I'm at a loss as to what to do! Help. I'm asking your advice!

not much...

It's been a long time since I've blogged. I've been really busy with cakes and kids. Everytime I've sat down to blog, Gavin has started crying or fussing and I needed to get him.

Life is pretty great. I don't really have a lot to say, so I'll leave you some pictures.

Found my toes!

4 months...

From this...

to this little guy.

Love him!

He found his feet this morning. Too cute!

These smiles make my day.

Thanks for a great four months, Buddy!

Thanks.

I just wanted to say thanks to the response I got from my last blog. I wasn't expecting all the comments! I got more people to comment and reveal themselves as readers than if I had pleaded with readers to leave a note!

I've been reading and rereading all your sweet comments, so again thank you. These comments have really helped me over the past couple of days. :)

Heart hurts.

- I'm not who I used to be. I'm not who you want me to be. I'm not who I should be. I'm not even sure who I am.

- Last year, a few things happened around the same time that really hurt me to the core. This shook my self confidence and it's only slowly starting to rebuild. Please have patience.

- I'm tired of guilt trips. I'm taking care of me and my family right now. No guilt allowed.

- I'm missing someone who I was once very close to and our friendship that we shared years ago. You were one of the few people who ever really understood me and loved me for who I am. I miss that oh so much.

- I'm not losing weight for you, or you, or even you. I need to get healthy and being this overweight isn't healthy. Why can't you understand this? Why does this even concern you?

- I feel lonely. I want to feel needed and wanted. I want the phone to ring and someone to be there who just wants to talk. I want to be someone's best friend again.

- Because of the weight gain from pregnancy, I don't have a lot of clothes that fit well. I'd do almost anything for a good fitting pair of jeans and a fall jacket.

- Lately I wonder if something is wrong with my mind. I feel like I am losing my memory and memories. I have a hard time remembering things from childhood or even university. I can't explain it, but it scares me.

- I didn't have friends in grades 7&8. I used to hide in bathroom stalls during recess or run to my Grandma's house at lunch to avoid being alone. These were horrible years for me and although I eventually went on to have great friends in highschool and beyond, I still often feel like that girl sitting on the edge of the playground, dying to be asked to join in.

- I have a hard time spending money on clothes for myself. I tried caring about brand names when I was in highschool so I'd fit in, then realized that deep down I really didn't care. All through university, I didn't care about brand names. I still don't care. If I think it fits well and looks good, I'm going to buy it. Even if it's only $7 from Wal-mart.

- I like wearing fleece. I wear running shoes in the house. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl and I hate the feeling of sleeves on my arms. I always have my toenails painted and I love my wedding rings.

- I wish I could say that I don't care what people think of me, but I can't. I really do care. I do care what people think about me and that sucks. I always feel like I'm being judged and coming up just a little bit short. I don't like this about myself, but I don't know how to let it go.

- Although this post might not seem like it, I am mostly happy right now. I may not like how I look, but I am healthy and have two wonderful children and a husband who loves me beyond comprehension. I adore my kids and love spending time with them. Without them, I would be lost.

Proofread, people!

Sigh.


(Sign in front of the Heartland Inn in Winkler.)

My baby girl

Life with a two year old.

In the bathroom...

"Chelsea, did you wipe?"

"Nope. I just pull my panties up."

"Chelsea, you have to wipe."

"It's not a big deal, Mommy."

In response to anytime you ask her "why?"...

"Because, I don't know."

Instead of all by myself, she says she'll do it, "All my by self."

When we are getting ready to leave...

"Ready, go, mommy? Ready GO!" I'm pretty sure this is because I always ask if she's ready to go. Now, I find myself asking "Ready go?"

We've recently gotten a treadmill and Chelsea goes on it if Chris or I help her. Yesterday she told me to hang on because she needed to go get her "running feet." She came back downstairs with her shoes. Too cute.

And there's always a little bit of confusion...

"I have a pinecone in my eye!" Once when we were going for a walk, Chels was playing with a pinecone and a peice broke off and went in her eye. Now whenever she gets anything in her eye, she starts to crying, saying she has a pinecone in her eye.

"I eat too much ice cream." This phrase is said anytime something is physically hard for her to do, whether it is going up and down the stairs, running, or carrying something heavy. It all started one night on a walk home from Iceburg's when we had icecream. I guess she figured that eating all that icecream made the walk home a lot harder.

"Ow! I have skin!" This is her latest. She complains about having an owie and makes a face and says, "I have skin!" I've been trying to explain what skin is, but she corrects me saying, "That's not skin - that's your ... (elbow, knee, cheek, arm... whatever)." Anyone help me out here on how to explain it?

Life is interesting.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

I answered the phone in the livingroom and came back to this...
I could have gotten mad, but realized it was keeping her happy and busy, so I just laid down towels.

Ah, life.

Papa Jerry

Love this picture. Reminds me of the song, Daddy's hands.

Yesterday's good times.

Yesterday, I worked on tidying up the garage a little. It's hard to do with a busy 2 year old and a 3 month old. Chasing wasps away took up a great deal of time too.

We just got new shelves put up in our garage and I was using a ladder to put the tubs and boxes on the shelves. Then of course, Chelsea the monkey decided ladders were fun for her.

Just hanging out, eating soda crackers right from the bag. I kept telling her to be careful or she'd fall and crack her head open. When she did climb down, she turned around and told me, "See mommy? I not crack my head open. It's still here." and points to her head. Little smartie pants.

Then, after supper, we did one of my most favourite things, and we washed the cars together. It was such a beautiful night, until the mosquitoes came out in full force!

And I just had to include one picture of G man. Such a cutie!

Ryan got married! Woot woot!

My brother got married this weekend. The wedding was on Saturday so we drove down on Thrusday. We drove the 4 hour trip in record time with two kids (4 1/2 hours!) and had a few days visit before the wedding. Good times.

Saturday arrived. It was a great, HOT day to have an outdoor wedding. The wedding was in a park, right next to a swing set. Chelsea had fun before the wedding.


Chris and I pinned the flower on my brother's suit.



Hello Best Man and grumpy little girl! (Seriously, the wedding was scheduled for 2:00 - that's prime nap time!)

Aunty Jen had a lot of Chelsea time this weekend.

Gavin started crying so I missed getting pictures of the bride walking and the wedding ceremony, but I did get one once all was finished. Yay - you are married!

Then Jennifer and I took the kids and headed to a hotel room - in hopes that Chelsea would take a nap, and that Gavin might have some quiet time.

No such luck.

Instead, babies got naked...

and Chelsea did the wiggle, wiggle, wiggle dance...

Then, it was time to get the kids redressed and soon it was supper time. Chelsea had no problems joining the head table for something to eat.
She even stole the bride's icecream!

Then, the best man gave a funny, eloquent and heartwarming speech... written by me, of course!


The cake went from this...


to this...


to this...

and there is a picture of me somewhere eating a piece, but I don't have that photo yet.

Then, there was dancing...

lots and lots of dancing... Even Grandpa and Gavin had a few dances!

Chelsea tore up the dancefloor! Here she is dancing with Grandma!

and we finished the night with bubbles again.
The wedding is over. Now comes the rest of your life. Congratulations Ryan and Amber!

Don't give up hope.

I will post again soon. I promise. Just busy with life right now it seems!