A Profound Entry

My boy is smart - wicked smart, to be exact. He's two years and 4 months old and is constantly amazing me with what he knows. He can recognize and count numbers up to 50. He knows his alphabet and if you put down flashcards of the alphabet that are mixed up, he will pick them up in order. He is always singing the abc's or counting something. Yesterday, we found out that he can match the lowercase alphabet letters with the upper case partners.

But, there's one this he can't do (yet) and that's talk. This comes as no surprise. I've been dealing with it for a long time. First I kept insisting that he couldn't hear and it was hinted that I was overreacting. But we were able to go see a specialist and have a hearing test done and low and behold, he couldn't hear. He had t-tubes put in in April and we've had his hearing re-tested and so we were raring to go.

His speech had definitely picked up since April, but he still actually only had one true spoken word - "mom." Not once have I ever been called mommy. He has a huge vocabulary and language bank, but not the needed sounds to make the words. For example: ba for ball, na for banana, ee for cheese, etc. It is only ever one syllable and one sound.

So, I knew it was bad. Yes, he's a boy and yes, he's young, but I was concerned that his hearing impairment when he was younger had really messed things up. We went for a follow up to the specialist, and after seeing my little man work with numbers and flashcards, she too was impressed and said, "we need to get this boy talking!" We were given a referrel to speech at BTHC, but were told the waiting list was 6 months.

So, I talked to a speech and language pathologist and arranged for private speech. She assessed him and as she handed me the report, she warned me that it sounded worse than it was and not to be upset.

Ack. I knew there was a problem, obviously, as I was the one insisting he see specialists and getting hearing tests and asking for speech, but there's just something so heart-wrenching to read the words in black and white. He was placed "in the "profound" category of phonological impairment in comparison to other children with disordered expressive phonological systems." Ack. (And yes, I did cry when I read the report - I'm a wuss like that.)

Out of 14 categories, he basically flunked 9 of them. The summary said, "Based on test results, G's articulation/phonological skills were found to be significantly below the average range for a child his age. He was found to have a profound phonological delay."

Ah yes, but the good thing is the 2 year old brain is a sponge and he just LOVES soaking up learning. He sits sooo attentively and tries so hard and we have already seen so much progress. I can't wait to hear him in a few months!

Wow. That was a really long post.

Raw

Not sure what it is lately, but I've been in a major funk. I'm struggling with not feeling needed or wanted. I struggle with value and being valued. I've been praying like crazy because I can definitely see that somehow, somewhere along the line, I've believed a lie, but right now, my mind just won't let it go. It's hard. I don't like it.

So do me a favour - go send someone you know and love a little message letting them know just that. It might just make thier day!

Thankful

 I woke up this morning and read something on Facebook that made me feel left out and neglected and lately it seems too easy for me to feel that way. That is definitely one area where I seem to struggle with - fitting in. It seems to me that, with the exception of a few, I struggle with feeling worthy of friendships. In my head, I'm still that girl, hiding in the bathroom stall in grade 7, avoiding recess time. I sometimes feel like I am always the one inviting people out and in my head, I turn this into me begging to be your friend. I fully realize this is completely my issue, and most of the time, it's not true, but lately, it's hard to convince myself of that.

Our pastor spoke last week on giving thanks in all circumstances and how we should easily be able to list things we are thankful for, so I'm going to focus on what I'm thankful for and push all the other negative thoughts out.

I know, this "thankful" post is a week too late, but really, is it ever too late to be thankful? So, in no particular order, let's get started.

1. My husband is incredible. He loves on me like there's no tomorrow. He has completely picked up the slack at home because I am so busy. He is such a good dad, carting the kids off to dance and gymnastics and everywhere else they need to be. I'm reminded again that he is my best friend.

2.  My health. I am healthier and stronger and in better shape than I ever have been. I am ever so thankful for that.

3. My kids. Seriously, I love these two so much it hurts some days. My house is often in a cluttered, messy state because I neglect housework when I'm home so that I can have quality time with these two. We read, colour, snuggle, count, wrestle, craft, bake, dance and play. I always try to remind myself that those things are more important than a clean house.

4. My job. Although this year is proving to be intense and stressful, I am thankful for my job at the school. As I'm getting more and more settled and confident in my new position, I'm liking work more and more.

5. My clients. When I opened A Better Life Wellness Centre, I never dreamed I would be as busy as I am. It's overwhelming and stressful at times, but when I come home and share the stories of the day with Chris, I'm reminded of how incredible these people are. It's so uplifting and encouraging to be a part of helping people get healthier and happier. Watching people grow in confidence as the pounds come off is such a rush. I'm grateful to be a part of their lives.

6. My friends - I do have a few close friends who I know will be there for me, no matter what. I don't ever feel pressure to be someone I'm not. Our lives are all crazy busy so sometimes it's hard to find time to hang out, but their friendship means the world to me. Oh and I have a few internet BFFs who kinda rock too. ;)

Okay, so far, those have all been the usual, sappy ones we all expect. Now onto some randoms that I'm thankful for.

7. I was super blessed to spend the day yesterday with a girl who simply gets me - everything about me. It was such a great, easy day. It was refreshing. I am oh so thankful for her. Oh and I'm thankful I found what I hope to be a really warm winter jacket to make those winter duty days a little easier.

8. My Kindle. Sounds weird, I know, but I have found so much peace and joy in reading again. I find the Kindle so convenient to just throw in my purse to read whenever I have a few spare minutes. I fall asleep reading every night and I have been getting much better sleep with less tossing and turning.

9. Feta cheese and Greek salads. I know, not as life impacting as friends and family, but I could eat this every. single. day. And this week, I have. :)

10. Good music. I love being able to crank the tunes and change my attitude. I can go from feeling sleepy and tired to rockin' it out with a ton of energy. I can go from feeling down and depressed to worthy and loved.

Alright, now it's time for church, which I'm also thankful for. Oh sunshine. Oh and coffee. The list goes on and on.

Master Re-do

Okay, so I have been putting off posting these for a long time because I was waiting to hang the picture frames. I don't have any before shots though. When I decide to start something, I just do it, so this is as good as you get. All the walls in the bedroom were this blah, beige colour (although here you can tell I had already painted most of the room.)

Now I love bluish/grey colours and I've repainted my kitchen, master bath, basement and now master all various shades, trying to get that perfect grey without a hint of blue, but to me, it still looks blue. Either way, I love how light and bright it is.

I love the wallpaper, although not sure if I'd ever wallpaper again. It was a lot of work.

I made the LOVE artwork in the corner. I was going to hang it above our bed, because I really don't like the star, but I'm not in love with that either, so for now, the star stays. I made the pillows and the body pillow case. The bedding is from Wal-Mart.

The headboard is an old door I painted a long time ago, and our dressers are still the good, old used dressers I got when I moved out of home, 12 years ago. I painted them when we got married (8 years ago) and really, I don't mind them.

I bought an etsy print with our initials and wedding date and used that to kind of anchor our photowall. I love pictures and have tons of them all over our house. I'm going to eventually just hodgepodge my walls with pictures of my kids. Who needs wallpaper?

Well, that's it. Our master bedroom. I LOVE it. The only thing that we'll be changing is that hopefully in 2012, we can get rid of all the carpet and switch to laminate floors.

Hmm... now what to paint next?

Defying Gravity

Yesterday I ran a half marathon. 13.1 miles or 21.1 km. My good friend and inspiration Amanda offered to run beside me, even though it meant slowing way down from her usual pace. (She's a rock star. This was her 7th half marathon.)

I've always claimed that I'm not pretty when I run, but these pictures totally make me regret the bandana. It is a lulu lemon one, but still. Ah well, it was very effective at keeping the sweat out of my eyes!

There were 208 runners, with 72 running the half marathon.

Lined up, all ready to go.

These pictures make me laugh. I'm totally a dork. Seriously. We had to loop around Winkler twice. The first time, we were wearing our sunglasses. The second time, we were wishing for our sweaters!

And I finished. I wanted to keep 10 minute miles, and so  I was pretty pumped when I crossed at 2:12. I didn't really have any goals in mind, as this was the first time I had ever run anything longer than 12 miles. It was a huge accomplishment, no matter what the time!

Every person who completes the half marathon, got a medal. Woo hoo!!

Seriously - look at Amanda - she doesn't even look like she just ran 13 miles. Tall Amanda, however, does, and still regrets the bandana!

:) One of my life's goals crossed off the list.

Alright, no more blog posts about weight loss and IP. I get it, all you non-commenters!

I am seriously debating getting rid of FB. I love blogging. I love having a record of our lives. I don't do baby books, scrapbooking, or heck, right now, I don't even keep up with photo albums. I know that if I didn't have FB, I would blog more.

I find lately, my life is swamped. I'm often overwhelmed with all that there is to do on my plate. Then I find myself wasting time on FB. My house is a mess, laundry piles threatening to overtake my bedroom, my dishes undone, and there I am, wasting time checking what other people are doing.

I don't like how it makes me feel. Often I feel inferior, unworthy, excluded, and lonely. It makes me compare myself with others, something I try hard not to do.

Other times I get so annoyed at others' statuses that are copied and pasted, claiming that FB will start charging soon, or you need to post your bra size, or if you don't pass it on, Jesus won't be happy with you. Seriously people??

But then there are the people that I do connect with on FB whom I love and would miss greatly. I have a business and I use FB often to communicate with my clients. I have made some great friends because of facebook. I'm scared that if I were to leave FB, I would feel even more left out.

I get that these are all issues and insecurities within me, that probably have very little to do with FB, but something's gotta change.

Anyways, those are my thoughts for the night...

One year.

One year ago, I decided to give Ideal Protein a try. I did it for them.

I was tired of having no energy and tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn't like hearing my doctor tell me that I was morbidly obese, at risk for heart disease, likely to develop diabetes, and that I probably shouldn't try getting pregnant again. I had no confidence, wanted to hide at home, and it was hurting my friendships and my marriage.  I wasn't happy.

Now, a year later, I'm doing things I only ever dreamed about. I'm learning to love myself, trust myself, and BE myself. I'm happier and healthier and my whole family benefits.

 In my clinic, I have a wall of "non-scale victories." These are little things that have changed since losing weight that have nothing to do with sizes or numbers on a scale. There are so many things that are hard to do when you are overweight.

Some of my personal non-scale victories are:
- wearing boots. They finally zip up! I have choices! I own 6 pairs. Hee hee
- shopping! I never knew it could be fun. I used to have to buy whatever fit.
- I'm not afraid to sit in lawn chairs. (Some of them only have a 200lb weight limit!)
- seeing my collarbones.
- two words - skinny. jeans.
- having confidence to join workout classes.
- finding out how strong I am, physically.
- running a half marathon!! (Okay, this one happens Oct. 8th, but it still counts!)
- buying two bathing suits because I loved them both!
- being able to crawl around after my kids.
- having my doctor stand up and applaud me.
- jumping on a trampoline (again, without fear that it's going to break)
- being able to get in and out of a car, comfortably.
- watching others around me take charge of their lives and make healthier choices.

It hasn't been easy - far from it. Actually, if the truth be told, losing weight was the easy part. Maintaining is always harder. But here, I am, happily maintaining, working hard to maintain, choosing with every day and every meal to maintain. Food still calls my name. I have good days and I have bad days, but all of the time, I have healthier, happier days. (Yes, that was super cheesy.)

Oh and it's been 365 days since my last taste of pop. Oh Diet Coke, I still miss you, but I will choose to avoid you always, mostly because I'm really stubborn. 

Calgary and Ideal Protein Superstars

So last Friday, Chris and I hopped a plane and flew to Calgary to attend Ideal Protein's level 2 and level 3 training seminars. I was pumped. Obviously, my heart belongs to IP and I am grateful to this company for helping me become who I am today. I was sooo excited to go and learn more and meet my IP superheroes.

There were only about 125 people at the conference, so it was small enough to actually get to chat with the speakers and presenters and other clinic owners. It was so much fun. I know the theme of this post is going to be "fun" and "excited" but really, I was. I did learn so much and took a ridiculous amount of notes and I feel refreshed and invigorated.

The first two people I was excited to see were the amazing Martin Galipeau (the business development consultant and my personal mentor and coach) and Cheryl Zatwarnitski (my regional consultant). Without the support of these two wonderful people, I wouldn't be where I am today. I adore my support team! Martin always has me flexing for him and Cheryl tells everyone about my IP cupcakes and my belt of truth.

Saturday, we spent most of the day listening to the President and CEO of Ideal Protein, Olivier Benloulou. He was encouraging, inspiring and motivating. I love his passion and mission for the company. It was so great to hear how IP started and how it is constantly changing and evolving and taking a stand against obesity. I am so excited and blessed to be a part of his team!

Sunday was an intense day of learning. The knowledgeable Dr. Michael Ciell, the Chief Science Officer and Vice President of Clinical Operations, presented, spending a great deal of time educating us on the science behind IP, debunking a lot of myths, and patiently answering all of our medical questions. I found him fascinating and could have listened to him speak all day.

Also, on Sunday, we finally got to meet Dr. Chanh Tran Tien! He is the man with the vision behind the protein diet. He actually got to the hotel on Saturday night and ate supper at the table next to ours. I felt like a starstruck fan. Chris just kept laughing at me as I was watching the doctor all night.



On Sunday, after listening to him speak, I decided I was going to fully embrace my geeky self and go talk to Dr. Tran. I was giddy and starstruck. He listened to my story, congratulated me, hugged me and then we took another picture. I'm smiling like a geek because I was barely holding it together. I am so thankful for this man and what he does. (Seriously, I don't like this picture of me at all, but it's the only one I have!)

So Saturday night, Chris and I had a bit of free time, so we went for a great steak supper, then wound up playing a board game in the hotel lounge. It was nice to be able to relax, even just for a few short hours. Sunday was the conference, then we visited with our friends in Calgary and then took a flight home. We got into Winnipeg at midnight and were tucked into our beds at 2:30 in the morning, and both of us were at work for 8:30 Monday morning.

 

We are exhausted, but oh so glad we went.

Bedtime

I was going to blog something really cool and interesting that would attract tens of comments I'm sure, but then I remembered that I have to work tomorrow - all day. That means being showered, dressed, and fed before I wake up the kids to get them dressed and fed.

Ack. Bubye summer of 2011. You were fantastic. I'm going to miss you.

Change

It's been almost a year since my life changed. September 25th last year I started IP. In so many ways, it was easy. In so many other ways, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But this post is not about that.

I'm not the kind of person who declares on facebook every time I workout, but rest assured, I workout and I workout hard. I do bootcamps, Turbo Jam, a few Jillians every now and then and as I declared in my last post - I run. I think I finally think it's okay for me to say "I am a runner."

I've dreamed of running in a half/full marathon for about 8 years. I've trained before in university and got really close, but then caught bronchitis and cracked two ribs and was told to stop running.

I secretly told a friend a few months ago that I wanted to run at least the 10K. This wouldn't have been too hard because I was running a lot. My minimum run when I run is 3.5 miles and at the time, I could do 6. For me, it was more the commitment of actually sticking to it. Last summer, I could easily finish 6 miles, but I didn't sign up for any 10K races because I was so embarrassed in my own skin. This summer, no excuses. So this friend put together a schedule for me to follow and one of my runs was scheduled to be 7 miles.

But add a little determination and a sprinkle of stubborness and I wound up running 8. This was the farthest I had ever run and I did it without stopping to walk or anything. I was so happy and shocked and proud (hence the blogpost).

When I got home, my husband simply asked, "So are you doing the half now? It's only 5 more miles."


So I figured I'd give it a shot. I figured, "Why not?" I'm in the best shape of my life thanks to proper eating and hard work.

So yesterday, I set out with a goal. I was supposed to do 9 miles, but wanted to do 10. Ten miles - yikes.

It was AWESOME! I chose to run down the highway, through a couple small villages and then down country roads. I love the peacefulness of running on gravel with no one around.

As I looked down at my running watch and realized that I had run over 8 miles and that this was the farthest I had ever run, the song "Defying Gravity" came on my ipod.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
of someone else's game

Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try
defying gravity
I think I'll try
defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
and you won't bring me down...

I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know

Defying Gravity Lyrics at elw

I was now running with goosebumps and even a few tears. See? Good thing I run out in the country.

Something has changed within me. I am so strong now and in control. I am doing things and trying new things and have a confidence that I've only imagined.

So, it's official. October 8th, I'll be running the half marathon. I don't promise that I'll be running it fast or anything, but I will finish it. :)

Here's to defying gravity.

8 miles!

"Maybe strong is just what you have left when you've used up all your weak."

Reminder

I love this so much. It's going to go on my wall somewhere. So so true.

Give me CANDY.

First of all, let me start off by saying, "Do not judge."


Okay? No really.


NO judgement. It's my blog and I'm about to reveal a deep dark secret.


I love parades.


There I said it.

Around here, all I seem to hear is negativity - people hate parades. "Our parade is so lame." "Our parade is so short." Blah, blah, blah. I'm from Gilbert Plains, people! We have 5 floats, 3 cows, some bikes and a whackload of machine equipment. Winkler parade is fantastic and Morden's? LOVE!


There's just something about the excitement you see in kids as they watch floats go by and catch candy. I love it. This year we went to Altona, Gretna and Plum Coulee parades. My family got to watch the Winkler parade but I didn't - because I WAS IN IT!!

Okay, I know it's not that exciting. But I was walking in a pink tank with the Tyson Method 4 Moms ladies and I had a blast!
A sea of pink, coming your way!

(This is me, waving at Chelsea. I wasn't this excited for the whole parade, I promise.)
Chelsea got to join us and she also thought being in the parade was the greatest thing ever.
I've been asked to be in the Morden parade and I had to take a few days to think about it because I love watching the parade that much. It was a tough choice!


But I'm super excited. I've been attending aquafit bootcamp on Tuesday nights and I've been asked by Fittwell in Morden to workout on their bootcamp float. ME! People are going to be watching me workout on a float.


Wait - people are going to be watching me workout on a float.


YIKES!

Ah well, see you Saturday!!

Breathtaking.

So so so blessed.

Happiness - 2011.