Sometime I think in facebook statuses (statusi?) and because I can't change my status every ten seconds to reflect my true thoughts, I present to you:
Amanda is...
- blogging in bed. Should be sleeping - it's late and there's school tomorrow and I've done nothing to prepare, but I've got too much going on in my head and I'm hoping writing down some thoughts will make room for sleep.
- still feeling very unsure of who she really is. There has been a lot going on lately and for some reason, my self esteem has taken a huge hit and I just can't seem to bounce back. I'm my own worst critic but I feel that's how the world is looking at me right now too. I feel awkward and unsure a lot, and that's not who I am. Where did Amanda go?
- done with winter. I can only handle being holed up inside for so long. I miss the freedom of going outside. The days and evenings with a toddler are so long when you must be inside.
- wishing I wouldn't have checked the weather for tomorrow. -43 gets my hopes up, even though I know, without fail, we will have school tomorrow.
- envious of her friend's perfectly round, basketball baby belly. My baby seems to have made friends with my lovehandles and invited some extras over for a big party and I'm just along for the ride.
- craving Big Macs all the time. I've only had 3 this pregnancy, but I would eat them everyday if I weren't afraid of the lovehandle-party taking over.
- annoyed that Chelsea picked keys off her keyboard. Most of them have been fixed and reattached, but 'v' doesn't work very well and I have to press the spacebar harder. It really slows down the typing.
- wants gel nails in the worst way. I think people with gel nails always look so put together. Normally I have nice nails (at least I think so) but lately they've been breaking. I really want pretty gel nails but for some reason I'm not sure I'm a "put-together, gel-nail" kinda girl.
- wondering why on Earth I agreed to make 4 cakes in 4 days this week?? Seriously - what was I thinking??
- desperately needing a hair cut and colour, but isn't sure she wants to pay for one right now. I'm cheap and I know it.
- needing shoes. I have one pair of boots and one pair of shoes. Despite what others may think about said shoes, I love them. I've had them for years and I love them. I love wearing them and I know they aren't cute, but I like 'em! I'm hesitant to buy new shoes because with Chelsea my feet swelled so much and then after I was done my pregnancy, I had to get rid of all my shoes because they no longer fit. I don't like wasting like that, so I keep holding off on shoes. Hopefully flip-flop season is just around the corner. Oh and I have terribly wide feet so finding shoes is virtually impossible anyways.
- sad that Chelsea is sick again. Her cough is so bad and she isn't sleeping well, so we aren't sleeping well. It doesn't make for a happy household.
- finds smells overpowering right now. Today in church, I could barely hold it together because I could smell body odor on someone in front of me. It was so bad, I apparently had a grimace on my face for most of the service. Of course, this is the one time I didn't have any scented lotion or lipgloss in my purse. It was horrible. I barely heard the message because I was trying to figure out how to survive.
- just noticed that Chelsea took all her bath toys out of the bathroom and put them in the hallway but I'm too tired to go pick them up. How much you want to bet that I regret this later and trip on them during the night?
- loves having an ensuite bathroom. LOVE. 'nuff said.
- burnt her arm while baking a cake tonight. Little burns and cuts always hurt more than big ones!
- wishes she could wear comfy pants and barefeet to teach in. Life would be so much happier then.
- sad that my family lives so far away. The idea of having a new baby and Chelsea would be much easier if I knew my family lived close and could help out.
- excited about a photo-wall I'm putting my house. Now if only I had the time to complete it.
- thinking the fanny pack was such a great invention. I wish more people would wear them. No having to worry about purse straps or setting your purse down and forgetting to pick it up. Everything right at your fingertips. And they came in such an assortment of colors too. ;) Okay I'm just teasing. It's time for bed now. G'night.
And here I thought it was just me that thinks in FB statuses!
ReplyDeleteSelf esteem can be such a bugger. Keep working on it. You'll feel better.
Your school always seems to be open. Has it closed once this winter?
Once baby comes, you'll lose the weight. (I've got a list of names for you.)
Is the spacebar reattached properly, with the wire hooked back in?
Can't really answer the 4 cakes in 4 days thing, 'cause my answer would be that you are INSANE and I would never say that! lol
I also have one pair of shoes and one pair of boots. Sometimes I think I want more, but then, I can only wear one pair at a time. I might get new sandals this summer, or else (likely) I'll be cheap and glue insoles in them.
Poor Hildebrand family. Is she just starting this sickness, or is it getting better?
Last time I was at your church, there was a teenager there that stunk to high heaven!! Gag-worthy!! Maybe you were blessed by sitting next to him again. Hopefully that'll ease up soon.
Is Chris allowed to use your bathroom?
I wish we lived closer together, too. However, if we lived closer, you'd never get rid of me.
Where is the photo wall?
You're remembering the florescent fanny packs we wore in Florida, aren't you? rotfl
I think pregnancy has a way of messing with your self-esteem. Not to mention you are trying to juggle so much.
ReplyDeleteYou should go get your hair done, youll be glad you did...it always makes me feel better.
It is hard being away from family, but growing up some of my fondest memories were with my grandma who lived in Denver because seeing here was not an everyday thing. It was a special treat. I try to think of it like that when I get bummed about having no family around.