Life. Sigh.

I'm feeling really down lately. Too many things to explain, but the main one is I'm really disappointed in how I've "let myself go" in the healthy eating/exercising department. I was doing amazing following the South Beach Diet, then when I got pregnant, I used that as an excuse to eat unhealthy. It is more accepted to eat junk when you are pregnant, especially if you throw the word "craving" around.

However, I am almost 20 weeks pregnant, and I have gained well over 20 pounds. When I got pregnant this time, my starting weight was 46 pounds lower than when I first got pregnant with Chelsea. I really want this to be a healthier pregnancy and an easier delivery and I know weight is an issue. It's not just because I want to be this "all belly" cute pregnant lady... I really do know that it is being healthy that is the goal. I don't feel healthy. I feel lazy and lethargic. I hate seeing the weight that I recently lost all coming back on so quickly. It's not all baby. It's me just giving in and not caring. I need to care. I want a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.

So, I'm not asking for people to tell me that I look great, or it's okay because I'm pregnant. I'm just writing this out so that I am accountable - even just to me. I'm not "dieting." I'm not trying to lose weight or trying to do this to look good. I'm not dumb. I'm not going to risk the health of my baby. I just want to be healthy. I'm tired of feeling guilty after I eat. That feeling was what motivated me to change in the first place. So it starts tomorrow. Day One. (That's right Jen. Day One. An actual Day One. I promise.)

:)