1. You will go through an enormous amount of toilet paper and kleenex the first few years. Not that it's being used for it's actual purpose, but because it's just so darn fun for kids to take off the roll and out of the box.
2. You will never, ever get to eat a hot meal again. It'll be lukewarm, and chances are at some point, your children will be eating off your plate.
3. Same goes for drinks. It's open season on Mommy's water glass around here apparently.
4. Car seats, although a necessity for safety, are a magnet for stains, spills, crackers, cheerios and fishie crackers. Car seats also are not designed for easy cleaning. You have to actually unscrew screws and plastic pieces to take it out to wash it and even then sometimes you can't. Hey carseat companies, can we work on this to make it a touch more user friendly?
5. You will at some point suck your child's soother to get the nasty dust/hair/fluff off of it before you stick it in your baby's mouth. Don't judge me. I know you will or have done it in the past.
6. Sippy cups, again, wonderful for not spilling drinks. Terrible for getting misplaced or lost. Also, the chances of losing a sippy cup with milk, chocolate milk, or apple juice are exponential in comparison to losing one with just water. Nasty. 'nuff said.
7. You might think of a bathroom as a private place to do what you need to do. Kiss that bu-bye. If, by chance, I manage to sneak in to the bathroom without one or two children following me, you can bet at least one of them is pounding on the door before I'm done. It really is the most fun if both of them are pounding on the door and yelling at each other, and screaming and pulling hair, all while you are busy. Makes life so much more fun.
8. Your child's favourite tv show will wind up being one with annoying song lyrics that get stuck playing over and over and over again in your head. If you hear me singing "Shine on, shine on", you can thank the makers of "My Little Pony."
9. Poop, snot, puke, spit up, and pee no longer disgust you.
10. Instead of diligently marking your child's age and height in a safe place, you decide to let the handprints on the walls be a good guide. I say forget about washing walls. These are precious keepsakes for the future!
11. You will be shocked one day when you look at the walls closest to the highchair. I honestly didn't know that fruitloops become cement if left to dry on the wall.
12. Between the ages of 2 and 3, somehow your child will discover that the Band-aid is the magic cure all. Even the littlest, tiniest "owie" will require a Band-aid. If you are like me, your child, at one point, may have 14 band-aids on at the same time because you didn't want to argue any more about them. Pick your battles, people!
So true. I suppose this will help me prepare for next week?
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the last time I got to eat an entire bowl of cereal myself. Doesn't matter if I've *just* given Wyatt breakfast.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite phase was when he constantly wanted to crawl on my lap when I was on the toilet. Sometimes enough is enough.
lol. cute post. although putting a soother in my mouth disgusts me, so I haven't done that particular one...yet!
ReplyDeleteI have actaully been given the all clear by other mothers to put their childs soother in my mouth to clean it and then stick it in their childs ha! blech..but we moms do what we must even for other peoples babies ;p
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
We have a rule...no sippy cups with anything but water allowed outside of the kitchen table, because although poop, puke, vomit and snot don't bother me anymore....spoiled milk or moldy anything makes me throw up every time! Lucky for me Caleb favors water over other drinks anyways. That said, we use to have so many cups I didnt have room for them and somehow all but 3-4 have vanished into thin air
ReplyDeleteMy mom used masking tape instead of bandaids...bandaids weren't an option if we weren't bleeding. It worked really well for growing pains, because by the time we woke up in the morning, we'd basically sweated it off (it was cheap masking tape) so it didn't hurt to take it off. I really believed in the power of masking tape!
ReplyDelete