Christmas 2013

 

 Well friends, Christmas has come and gone and I survived! We kept things very low key, which was exactly what we needed this year. We didn't have many gatherings and we stayed local. The temperatures were frigidly cold which makes going anywhere a huge hassle. We did manage a trip to the mall to see Santa. Eli was not impressed.

Gavin was totally enamoured however, and would have sat all night, chatting it up with the big man in red.

Chelsea wouldn't sit on Santa's lap. I guess that ship has sailed until a few years from now when it'll be fun to see Santa again.

 

Santa visited the last skating class and again, G was star struck. I'm not going to lie, his childhood excitement was so fun this season. There is nothing like experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a four year old.

We did spend an evening decorating a gingerbread house and train, from the pre-fab kits from Superstore. I have BIG plans for gingerbread creations in the future, but for now, these will do. The kids had fun. It took everything in me not to take control and make the house decorated to my perfectionist eye.

 We had Christmas concerts. My kids are adorable. I know.  

 

 

And finally, Christmas. Chelsea begged for this pony Barbie set. Begged. For weeks. Anytime anyone asked what she wanted for Christmas, she said this set. However, she doesn't play with Barbies. We know this. We talked about this with her... and she swore up and down that she would play with this. Well, she was right. She's played with it twice.

Our house Christmas morning. So blessed. We love spending Christmas morning at home. The kids wake up, so excited and we open stockings. Then we have a wonderfully big breakfast of bacon and eggs and hashbrowns and toast and then we tackle presents. Then we play and have naps. It's glorious!

Christmas 2013. Done and enjoyed. I love spending time with my kids. I am blessed to have two weeks of work to soak up the moments with them. And now? I'm ready for summer!

m'eh.

I used to invest so much time into this blog. Now, it seems to just take a lot of work. I've let go of the pressure, but as I'm reading back over the posts from 2013, I'm sad that I didn't make it more of a priority. I love reading what I've written in the past, even if it is just boring stuff about the kids. It's amazing how fast time flies and how quickly you forget things. But then, sometimes I don't blog because I feel like it should be witty and funny and I just don't have that in me all the time.

For example, I'm re-reading my entries from earlier this year, and the general theme is "Eli is so easy. What a happy baby. Seriously, always smiling." And I'm all like... "Wha? Really??" See, the past 4 - 5 months, I would NOT describe him as easy. In fact, I'd go so far as to say, he's been the opposite. It's nice to have reminders that this stage we are in now is just a stage and not truly indicative of his personality. The poor kid has just cut all 4 molars and now is cutting four more teeth. It's painful to watch, so I do have sympathy for him. That being said, he is stinkin' adorable and we love him like crazy. My favourite thing ever is baby sign language. He signs for yes, please, more, thank you, night-night, blows kisses, and waves bubye. He says mama, dada and yuck. I'd say he signs for "up" too, but I'm not sure pinching my inner thigh is recognized as an acceptable sign. I love all his ways of communication though - it melts my heart.

(Yes, these pictures aren't the greatest of him, but combine the fact that he doesn't ever sit still and that I only use my iphone for pictures, we take what we can get!)

Okay I have a few posts on the go right now. I'm on holidays for 2 weeks and so is Chris so I am hoping to get a bit more caught up. I realize this post really has said nothing, but it is a post nonetheless and I promise I'll be back soon with more!

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for:

- a job that gives me goosebumps every day. I love doing what I'm doing and seeing the progress in kids is amazing. Amazing.

- treasured friends that make time and take time during this crazy season.

- a warm house, blankets, scarves and command start. Brrrr, it's cold out there!

- monthly massages with my favourite therapist.

- a great speech program at our local hospital. Gavin has done amazing and it's sad to think he only has one more block left.

- soup. Random, but true.

- the ability to dream big and plan life with my amazing husband.

- happy, healthy children.

-

My dear daughter

I'm pretty certain that Clay Owl is Chelsea's favourite place ever. She begs to go all the time. Finally, on Saturday we went and used up a few gift cards. This time, Chelsea chose a unicorn piggy bank and I chose a travel mug. I wasn't in the mood for anything cutesy or cartoony, so this time I did a glaze effect. I loved it.

 Here she is proudly showing off her unicorn, all finished painting.

We also hit up a local coffee shop for a cinnamon bun and some tea and cocoa.

 And after it was all said and done, I found this lovely picture on my phone.

 I kinda love this girl!

Christmas is magical, right?

I'm the first to admit that I'm a bit of a scrooge when it comes to Christmas. I don't get giddy at the first signs of winter. In fact, when those first beautiful flakes of snow drift down from the sky, my soul panics inside.

I've been pretty honest on here that I find three kids to be a bit overwhelming at times. This time, right now, is one of them. My baby, who is fast approaching 18 months, is miserable with teething. He is finding teething much harder than my other two ever did. These days are hard.

As a mom of three young kids, winter means taking an extra 15-20 minutes just to walk out the door. It means my entrance is constantly cluttered with ski pants, jackets, boots, mitts, scarves, and hats that the kids simply can't hang up or put away. It means having a baby who screams every time we leave the house because he believes that socks, toques and a jacket are ancient torture devices. It means I can't just send the kids outside to play for 20  minutes while I quickly make a meal. In winter, nothing is quick and easy. Add to that that I just don't like the cold. It's not that I don't try, but I just find that I get cold so easily, despite wearing good ski pants and a big parka, and if anyone can point me in the direction of the warmest mitts ever made, I would be eternally grateful. Even as a child, I don't remember liking winter.

But I digress, Christmas isn't necessarily about winter. It's about all. the. stuff. The clutter. I don't like clutter. I feel like I can barely keep a tidy house with the regular things in my house and now I'm supposed to have an amazingly, decorated with the season, tidy house? I should set up a giant, beautifully decorated tree in the living room, taking up more space in what feels like an already small room? I should have twinkly lights, strategically placed throughout the house for that warm, Christmas glow? Apple cider simmering on the stove for that Christmasy smell? A fun Christmas activity for every day leading up to the 25th? Why do I feel the need to put all this pressure on myself? And that's who does it. Me. I feel pressured to do it. And then when I don't do it, I feel like a bad mom. I've done it to myself by setting unrealistic expectations. And I'm not saying at all that those of you who do all of these things are doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm in awe of moms who can pull off a blissful, fun, homemade, calm and enjoyable yet fun Christmas season. And maybe someday, when I don't have a teething, irritable, always wants to be held 17 month old tugging on my pants, I will too. But I will admit, even just the thought of some of these things already causes me a bit of anxiety. I'm overwhelmed before it has even started!

And then I remember what Christmas means when you are a child. As a child, the days don't rush by, filled with obligations. Days are long and lazy and slow. Anticipating the excitement of Christmas morning happens for weeks and weeks. The excitement radiates on a child's face when she sees the Christmas decorations that appeared overnight. Decorating the tree is a magical family time (even though mom's arms get all scratched up from "fluffy" that fake tree.) Going shopping around Christmas is a glorious time. Shelves and shelves of toys that might possibly become yours? The sound of Christmas music playing through the speakers and the feeling of those clunky, chunky winter boots walking through the aisles? There is nothing like it. Kids adore Christmas and I need more of that in my life.

I need to step back and savour. I need to let go of all the pressures that I feel to have an Instagram worthy Christmas tree and décor. I need to tell myself that it is okay if we don't do an activity advent calendar where we do a Christmas activity every day. Or that it is okay if I don't deliver homemade meals and Christmas baking to teachers but rather choose to show my thanks with a simple card and gift card, just to save myself some stress. It is okay and no one will think less of me.

I read this amazing blog post the other day and this part jumped out at me.

"Ready for some good news? Your small people who make everything hard? Because God is a gracious God to us tired mamas, they won't remember this. They won't remember that you yelled yesterday. They also won't remember the Elf on the Shelf, or the terrifying visit to Santa's lap from your list of Fun Things to Accomplish. Nope. They're just going to remember a warm, fuzzy, maybe slightly squishy version of Mama. They're going to remember that you were THERE.

So put up some lights, because those are magically soothing to young babes, and cross everything else off your list. Say NO to more this season. Your family traditions and “making memories” can wait another year, until that toddler is out of diapers or the baby quits nursing every half hour. This holiday? This season?

Just be. Be warm, be fuzzy, be slightly squishy. Be in the moment, be on the couch sniffing the baby’s head, Be Still." (Find the whole post here.)

This resonates with me. It is a little different because I don't just have one little one - I also have a six year old who will remember and who deserves some of those special activities. I have a four year old who enjoys doing things, but honestly, absolutely adores being home and wouldn't be heartbroken if we didn't do much this season. But the reality is, I also have a 17 month old who will pull on the tree, break some ornaments, unwrap and chew on some presents a little early, and who will stayed glued to my hip so I can't do loads of baking and who will wake me up 4 times a night. It's all about balance.

So this year, my goal is to look at Christmas through the eyes of my kids. I will put up a tree and not cringe at the "clutter." I will hang up lights and garland and snowflakes to make my house magical to them. I will give myself permission to relax and laugh and buy a few gift cards. I am giving myself permission to make this a simply magical Christmas to my kids, by giving them a mama who is less stressed. I will snuggle and breathe in their scents and realize there is so much more to Christmas than simply being busy. Here's to the holidays, friends. May you find the balance that is perfect for you in this busy season.

They are just so cute.

Well hey there cutie.

Life with three can pretty much be summed up in the following picture.

Yup, it's loud and messy, crowded and busy, but I love it. And they love it. And they love each other... mostly.

Quick photo recap.
It was a very, very exciting day when Chelsea discovered that she finally had a loose tooth!

And then she came home from school one day, missing her tooth! Apparently she asked the EA in her classroom to pull it out. Is it wrong that I was seriously disappointed that I wasn't a part of this childhood milestone??

And we went from having a blonde, wispy haired baby boy...

to a dark, shaved head cutie! Also, please note how happy and still Eli is sitting. He honestly has his hands on his knees and sat still the entire time. Eli is NEVER still. He is wild... wild. Always running and yet, somehow the buzz and vibration from the clippers calmed him down. I wonder if I could just strap the clippers to his head every time I needed a few minutes of peace?

Nah. I'll just stick him in a box instead. Much more humane.

We put our kids into skating this year. Well, we started out with just Chelsea in skating, but then I realized I would someday have to teach Gavin how to skate and this way, I could simply let someone else do it. Thank you CanSkate! Chelsea is doing fantastic and loving every minute.

 Gavin, well, he's getting better. It's been a rough few weeks, but he's finally moving on those skates. The movement is pretty slow and hesitant, but perhaps by the end of the CanSkate he'll be able to skate and I won't have taught him! Also, he only cries about once a session now. Progress!

And well, this kid rocks my world. He is so so busy, but so adorable. Don't you agree?



October living

Okay, so I am well aware that this post is almost a month late, but that is just how we roll around here lately. I keep thinking, "When life slows down, I'll blog more..." but I am pretty sure this fast pace is simply the norm now. So I am trying to squeeze out a few posts!

 

Anyways, Thanksgiving weekend, we made the trek up to good ol' GP to visit my family. My kids love it there and I love having helping hands to keep the kids busy! Mom and I try to find things for the kids to do and this year, I suggested we carve pumpkins. This way, it's mom's house that gets messy and smells like pumpkins and not mine! Win win for me!

Here we are with our plethora of pumpkins. (The cutie in pink is my niece - the other three crazies belong to me.)

Eli also got to go on his first quad ride (or four-wheeler for all you Winkler people.) He loved it. He wanted to go faster and longer, but his little hands were like ice cubes!

 Eli went through a few weeks where all he wanted to do was wear this monkey suit. Now I'd be lying if I didn't come out and say that I encouraged this daily. I mean, c'mon. This has got to be one of the top 10 cutest things ever.

And finally, Halloween. Chelsea at the last moment, decided to wear her cheetah costume, Gavin's Mario made another appearance (no surprise there) and the sweet sweet monkey costume was donned once again.

 

 And perhaps, next year, we'll have to carve pumpkins at home again. Apparently Thanksgiving is just a touch too long to carve a good pumpkin. 



Love

I'll be back soon. I promise.

Tip-toeing the line...

Raising a tiny human is hard.

Raising three tiny humans is exhausting.

We all want our kids to grow up to be kind, smart, contributing members of society and the job of taking them on that journey is by far the hardest thing I've ever set out to do.

Being a mom is hard. Simply put, it is exhausting. I forgot what having an 15 month old is like. He is still waking up once or twice a night. He still only has the same 6 teeth, but is teething like crazy and is in pain. He always wants to be held and is so often whiny. He is into everything. He'll walk over to a drawer, open it, pull out all the contents and walk away. He fights taking his afternoon nap. It is exhausting. And then, on days like today when he is napping, he is coughing so much that I wonder if he is getting any rest.

I feel like I'm a failure - suppers are simple, if I ever get to make them. I feel like the house is always a mess and sometimes, stepping over the toys, crayons and crushed up Cheerios is easier than cleaning it all up. When that glorious hour of bedtime arrives, Chris and I just crash on the couch and look at each other blankly. Then we glance around at the chaos - pajamas on the floor from that morning, toys scattered as far as the eye can see, random boots, jackets, mittens and whatnot scattered about. I know that I should be making the effort to connect with friends, have couple friends over for supper, etc. but we seem to be running on survival mode lately. "If we just make it to bedtime..." Sigh.

I keep telling myself that it will get easier when Eli is older. But the truth is that I don't think it ever gets easier. It just gets different. Chelsea is older and although she's past the stages of dropping food on the floor, and she can easily dress and undress herself and her clothes often even make it into the hamper, it still isn't easy. I worry about her in school - is she being kind? Are kids being kind to her? What is she doing? And the big one lately - is she being pushed and challenged? Will she continue to enjoy learning? We've had some conversations lately about how she is bored at school and I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I could just jump in and take over and make sure that she isn't bored and that her love for learning continues. I struggle with what to do and how to do it. I am so passionate about early years learning and reading and literacy and my heart honestly hurts when I hear her talking about being bored. Trying to think of ways to fix it is all consuming. I wish I could just be more "it is what it is" about it.

Being a parent is tough. It seems like such a fine line between being a ferociously protective mama bear who wants the very best for her child in everything, and that crazy, overbearing, helicopter mom who wants to send a nanny cam to school in a hair clip. Right now, because I'm tired and stressed and worried, I feel like I'm getting too close to that crazy line.

Again I'll say it - raising tiny humans is hard.

Ohhh there's a sale on Smile button hidden cameras...

I blinked...

I've really been struggling lately with finding time to blog. It feels like since school has started and I've gone back to work, we've had no time. It feels like we are always on the go, or there's always something that I need to be doing. We had some sickness go through here as well and that took a big chunk of time.

 

We did manage to sneak in a family photoshoot with the talented Judith Voth. Here's a few sneak peeks!

 

I hope to be back soon!

Socks, Snacks and B-ball

I was tagged in another one of those "share ten things about yourself" kind of posts, but I feel like I've told so many random facts about myself that there's nothing left. When you've been blogging for almost 14 years, there's not a lot left!

1. I'm generous, almost to a fault, yet I'm a terrible gift giver. It's like my mind goes absolutely blank and I have no idea what to buy. I think it's because I always ask for practical gifts, but I'm sure not everyone gets excited about new cookie sheets or tea towels like I do.

2. I'm becoming more and more of a homebody. I'm assuming it's because I'm still adjusting to the new schedule of working and after school activities for the kids, but I've found myself having internal conversations about how I should call so-and-so to go out for tea, or have this person over or this family over for a BBQ and then this little voice starts to whisper, "or you could put on your comfy pants and curl up on the couch and watch something on tv." Ah that blissful moment of sitting on the couch, relaxing for an hour or two... Don't get me wrong - I jump at the chance to go when someone invites me, but to plan something just seems to take so much effort.

3. I despise matching socks up after they are laundered. So much so that I have already thrown out all of our socks that don't match the rest. All Chris's socks are black with grey heels, all my socks are black, all Gavin's socks are grey, etc., hoping to make this monotonous task easier but still, I usually wind up dumping a pile of socks on Chris' lap to sort and pair up. Problem solved.

4. I love anything to do with my feet, especially pedicures and foot rubs. I'm so blessed that I married my husband and he gives me a foot rub almost every night. Heaven, I tell you.

5. My favourite snack food is nachos. I dream of cheesy, gooey nachos, washed down with a diet Coke. Oooh and followed with a piece of carrot cake and cream cheese icing. Why does all the bad food taste so good?

6. I played a lot of basketball when I was in high school. In my head, I'm still that girl who can rebound with the best of them, and consistently make shots from the free throw line. In reality, I'm 15 years older, a heck of a lot slower, and pretty inconsistent with my shots - like completely miss the backboard kind of inconsistent. But hey, in my head, superstar.

7.  Seeing scratches or chips in wall paint bothers me, which is ironic because usually my house is in various stages of chaos. But I can be relaxing, watching tv, getting a foot rub, and I'll just stare at the wall imperfections. Fingerprints don't bother me at all - but knowing there's missing paint drives me bananas.

8. When I'm old and eccentric, I really want to have a salt and pepper shaker collection, and possibly cookie jars. I don't know why, but I am finding it harder and harder to resist them. Cute little S&Ps?? C'mon. I want them ALL. (Note - I don't own any yet and have no plans to buy any soon, but I just know someday I'm going to.)

9. I love sandwiches -especially ham and cheese. It's funny that I work so hard to not give Chelsea a sandwich every day, yet I would love to eat one everyday. Everyone sing it with me... "Sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine..."

10. I'm terrified of big dogs. There, I said it. There's something about big dogs that ties my stomach in knots. As far as I remember, we've always had a small dog and they are fine - annoying, but fine. But big dogs? No thank you.

Well, there you have it. Another random facts post about me. Now tell me something about you!

Parenting this week...

- I have been in survival mode. Eli has been sick all week. Tuesday and Wednesday were the worst with breathing issues and a lung infection, and constantly battling high fevers. In addition, his molars have decided to make an appearance so the drool is flowing and he is just downright angry. The past few days have been spent holding a coughing, grouchy, irritable, dissatisfied baby. I'd sum it up by describing him as "screamy". If you want to argue that "screamy" isn't a word, I'd invite you to come for a visit. You'll soon agree.

- Felt pretty cute in church yesterday. I was wearing my new sweater, had finally mastered the messy topknot bun, had great makeup and was having an internal celebration for finally hitting the 50lbs lost mark. What? You didn't see me in church? Oh, that's because while I was leading the children's praise and worship, my youngest child decided to lose his mind and was sobbing uncontrollably. We took a quick vote and decided to bolt after we were done, rather than trying to entertain him in the café. You're welcome.

- As a parent, you sometimes feel like a rockstar - you've got it all together. You are organized, efficient and can handle any crisis. Sometimes, I feel like SuperMom. Then there's that humbling moment, when you realize, "Nope."  I'm so grateful for my husband. I'll state that right now. Last night, I heard Gavin crying so I ran up to his room and opened the door and was hit by a wave of stench that instantly turned my stomach and had me gagging. I turned back and yelled for Chris to come help and then was torn, just a little inside. Do I go and comfort my crying child who has obviously has had an awful accident, or do I wait for Daddy to make it upstairs? Poor Gavin had experienced the ol' "cough and poop" situation. Oh relax, of course I did go in and comfort my stinky child. I didn't want to, but I did, because that's just the kind of stellar mom I am.

- My daughter FINALLY had reading books sent home today from school to practice home reading. As a literacy support person at my school, I'm super passionate about reading and teaching kids how to read and how to love reading. I've been waiting and waiting for reading books to come home so we can read (yes, we read all kinds of books at home, but this is different). Today was that day. I'm the amazing parent though who just realized that instead of reading, we played at a park and stayed out too late at a friend's house. Oops. Guess we'll read those books tomorrow.

- I've been pretty impressed with myself for packing lunches for Chelsea. Now, I'm not a crazy person, cutting her sandwiches into teddybear shapes, or making animals out of her fruit, or spelling her name out of homemade organic raisins, but I have managed to send her a lunch every day that doesn't contain little Vienna wieners. I win! I've done lots of leftovers, homemade pizza buns/roll ups, home made pigs in a blanket, wraps and quesadillas, etc. Today, she said, "Mom, can you stop making my lunch so fancy? I really just want a cheese whiz sandwich." Done, my dear Chelsea. Also here's $100 for being awesome. (Not really, but if I had money, totally.)

- Sometimes, I let my 6 year old watch the baby while I work in the kitchen. Most of the time, this works out just fine. And sometimes, this happens.

One roll of toilet paper, one rubber boot and 18 apples in the toilet. Don't worry, no pies were made from the apples in this picture. This is one busy boy - good thing he's so cute. I guess we'll keep him, even if he's screamy.

 

Grade One

Well, this post is long overdue, but here we are. Chelsea had her first day of grade 1. She was ridiculously excited, eager and more than ready to go. I have more issues with her being gone all day than I thought I would. For a girl who talks all the time, she sure doesn't share much about her day. 

 

She tells me everyday that her favourite part of her day is playing at recess. I can't wait until she is in love with her learning too. I know that sounds cheesy, but in order to keep her interested in school, she's going to need to push herself so she doesn't get bored. She's like her mama that way.

We sure miss her in the afternoon. It's been nice outside lately so the boys and I walk to get her every day after school. She wants to walk home herself, but I just can't bring myself to do that yet.

"Bestest Day"

What a difference a year makes. This boy adores preschool and was vibrating because he was so excited that he finally got to go again. It's been a long summer of waiting! He would gladly go to Kindergarten if I could have snuck him in.

 What a difference! Last year, I wrote about starting pre-school here. This year, I have absolutely no worries or concerns for him. He has come such a long ways. I couldn't be more proud!

 This boy is so wicked smart. He adores learning of any kind - reading, math, random facts, how to manipulate others to do things for him. He can read books, count to 100, recite phone numbers, but can't put on his own shoes, socks, or any articles of clothing, wipe his bum, ride a bike, and would prefer it if you fed him his meals. Good thing he is stinkin' adorable.

 We are so excited for Gavin's year. Between preschool twice a week and gymnastics once a week, he's got a lot of things to look forward to!