I'm the first to admit that I'm a bit of a scrooge when it comes to Christmas. I don't get giddy at the first signs of winter. In fact, when those first beautiful flakes of snow drift down from the sky, my soul panics inside.
I've been pretty honest on here that I find three kids to be a bit overwhelming at times. This time, right now, is one of them. My baby, who is fast approaching 18 months, is miserable with teething. He is finding teething much harder than my other two ever did. These days are hard.
As a mom of three young kids, winter means taking an extra 15-20 minutes just to walk out the door. It means my entrance is constantly cluttered with ski pants, jackets, boots, mitts, scarves, and hats that the kids simply can't hang up or put away. It means having a baby who screams every time we leave the house because he believes that socks, toques and a jacket are ancient torture devices. It means I can't just send the kids outside to play for 20 minutes while I quickly make a meal. In winter, nothing is quick and easy. Add to that that I just don't like the cold. It's not that I don't try, but I just find that I get cold so easily, despite wearing good ski pants and a big parka, and if anyone can point me in the direction of the warmest mitts ever made, I would be eternally grateful. Even as a child, I don't remember liking winter.
But I digress, Christmas isn't necessarily about winter. It's about all. the. stuff. The clutter. I don't like clutter. I feel like I can barely keep a tidy house with the regular things in my house and now I'm supposed to have an amazingly, decorated with the season, tidy house? I should set up a giant, beautifully decorated tree in the living room, taking up more space in what feels like an already small room? I should have twinkly lights, strategically placed throughout the house for that warm, Christmas glow? Apple cider simmering on the stove for that Christmasy smell? A fun Christmas activity for every day leading up to the 25th? Why do I feel the need to put all this pressure on myself? And that's who does it. Me. I feel pressured to do it. And then when I don't do it, I feel like a bad mom. I've done it to myself by setting unrealistic expectations. And I'm not saying at all that those of you who do all of these things are doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm in awe of moms who can pull off a blissful, fun, homemade, calm and enjoyable yet fun Christmas season. And maybe someday, when I don't have a teething, irritable, always wants to be held 17 month old tugging on my pants, I will too. But I will admit, even just the thought of some of these things already causes me a bit of anxiety. I'm overwhelmed before it has even started!
And then I remember what Christmas means when you are a child. As a child, the days don't rush by, filled with obligations. Days are long and lazy and slow. Anticipating the excitement of Christmas morning happens for weeks and weeks. The excitement radiates on a child's face when she sees the Christmas decorations that appeared overnight. Decorating the tree is a magical family time (even though mom's arms get all scratched up from "fluffy" that fake tree.) Going shopping around Christmas is a glorious time. Shelves and shelves of toys that might possibly become yours? The sound of Christmas music playing through the speakers and the feeling of those clunky, chunky winter boots walking through the aisles? There is nothing like it. Kids adore Christmas and I need more of that in my life.
I need to step back and savour. I need to let go of all the pressures that I feel to have an Instagram worthy Christmas tree and décor. I need to tell myself that it is okay if we don't do an activity advent calendar where we do a Christmas activity every day. Or that it is okay if I don't deliver homemade meals and Christmas baking to teachers but rather choose to show my thanks with a simple card and gift card, just to save myself some stress. It is okay and no one will think less of me.
I read this amazing blog post the other day and this part jumped out at me.
"Ready for some good news? Your small people who make everything hard? Because God is a gracious God to us tired mamas, they won't remember this. They won't remember that you yelled yesterday. They also won't remember the Elf on the Shelf, or the terrifying visit to Santa's lap from your list of Fun Things to Accomplish. Nope. They're just going to remember a warm, fuzzy, maybe slightly squishy version of Mama. They're going to remember that you were THERE.
So put up some lights, because those are magically soothing to young babes, and cross everything else off your list. Say NO to more this season. Your family traditions and “making memories” can wait another year, until that toddler is out of diapers or the baby quits nursing every half hour. This holiday? This season?
Just be. Be warm, be fuzzy, be slightly squishy. Be in the moment, be on the couch sniffing the baby’s head, Be Still." (Find the whole post
here.)
This resonates with me. It is a little different because I don't just have one little one - I also have a six year old who will remember and who deserves some of those special activities. I have a four year old who enjoys doing things, but honestly, absolutely adores being home and wouldn't be heartbroken if we didn't do much this season. But the reality is, I also have a 17 month old who will pull on the tree, break some ornaments, unwrap and chew on some presents a little early, and who will stayed glued to my hip so I can't do loads of baking and who will wake me up 4 times a night. It's all about balance.
So this year, my goal is to look at Christmas through the eyes of my kids. I will put up a tree and not cringe at the "clutter." I will hang up lights and garland and snowflakes to make my house magical to them. I will give myself permission to relax and laugh and buy a few gift cards. I am giving myself permission to make this a simply magical Christmas to my kids, by giving them a mama who is less stressed. I will snuggle and breathe in their scents and realize there is so much more to Christmas than simply being busy. Here's to the holidays, friends. May you find the balance that is perfect for you in this busy season.