Today has been a busy one. I didn't have a chance to really process the news until just about an hour ago.

28 dead in Newtown Connecticut. Another school shooting. 20 sweet, innocent children - gone. All day this has been rattling around in my head.

I'm a teacher so school shootings strike me pretty close to home. When I'm at work, I'm in a room with 20+ kids every day. I am responsible for them. Their parents trust that they are safe. It is so horrifying to think of something like this. The sadness and devastation that is ripping through that community right now breaks my heart. One of the parents of a survivor said, "It’s alarming, especially in Newtown, Connecticut, which we always thought was the safest place in America." Don't we all think that? Winker is a pretty safe place. But so was Newtown.

I just keep thinking of those parents. How I would feel if today, I sent my sweet sweet C to Kindergarten and never saw her again. Today was a usual day for us - playing in the morning, then a rushed lunch, quick getting dressed and bundled for school and a quick drop off at the parent loop. Today, I grabbed her jacket in the van, pulled her close and gave her a kiss. I said what I usually say, "I love you. Be kind. Be smart. Be a good friend." But what if it had been a bad day? What if it was a day where I was frustrated at her snail speed? A day when I knew she'd be late, so I pushed her out of the door to the house towards the car and said, "Hurry up and go" instead of "I love you?" To some of those parents today, that was their last moment. It was just an every day, normal moment. How do you go back and change that?

My heart is broken for these parents. It really makes you stop and check yourself. What if I didn't have my kids with my forever? What if today was the last? What if that was your last cuddle, hug, word or moment?

Tonight, I've got a three year old in my bed. He snores so loud and takes up more than his share of the bed. But tonight instead of carrying him back to his room, I'm holding close. I'm wishing my bed was big enough to fit two more babes in here. I am thoughtful and heartbroken. My heart is so heavy. So tonight I will snuggle and pray and pray and pray.