Exhausted beyond belief.

I am so stinkin' busy. Last week was crazy with subbing, helping with a garage sale and baking cakes. This week, I've been teaching grade 1 full time, then Monday night I had cake class in Winnipeg and Tuesday night I went to a movie with some friends.

I feel like I'm so tired, I don't even know where to start. Chelsea isn't sleeping through the night anymore, so I'm not getting good night rests. I feel like a horrible mom for going back to work - horrible. The guilt can be overwhelming. I see her for a few rushed minutes in the morning, and then for about 3 hours before she goes to sleep. The idea of missing her days makes me sick to my stomach. The past two days she's gone to bed super early and so that cuts into my time even more. I hate it. hate hate hate.

I should clarify that it's not the job I hate. I'm actually enjoying grade 1. I hate being away from Chels. If I ignore that, the job is going great. I love my students. Grade 1 is pretty good. I get more hugs a day then I have in my whole life I think. I've got some really amazing support people around me and I think I could easily fall in love with this school. It's definitely going to be hard returning to my old school.

But, I think that's it for now. I should go plan a bit for tomorrow, and mop my floor or clean a little.


I really want to bake some cupcakes though... I think this cake decorating thing has become an obsession.

Duck Cake

Close ups of the duck cake I made for Chelsea's birthday. I really want to make another duck cake so I can do some things a little differently.

The latest batch...

The rainbow cake I had to make for cake decorating class. It was very simple, but the staff at my school said it tasted great. (I filled it with vanilla pudding between the layers.)


Here's a pink Scooby for a girl who wanted Scooby. Easy enough!

This little girl loved the movie, "High School Musical" so I made her this cake. I used marshmallow fondant for the first time. (The yellow and white are fondant, the black and red are buttercream.)




This cake was to be girlie and bright. It turned out good, I think!




And that was just last week's cakes! This week... cupcakes! Yay!

Cake-a-doodle-doo!

So life changes quickly. I got a call on Monday morning, asking if I'd like to accept a term position teaching grade 1. It would start the following Monday, until the end of June. Wow. That's huge. I did all my education and student teaching for highschool and thought I was pushing it to teach Grade 7 and then Grade 6. Now to teach Grade 1?? I have no idea what to do, but the principal has assured me that I will have support and resources and so I accepted. Wow. Grade 1, eh? It also means that I will be going back to work full time. I was working about 3 - 4 days a week subbing, so it will be more than that, but the pay should be much better, which is a total answer to prayer. So that means this weekend will be spent trying to figure out what to teach the little cuties.

However, I also have 4 cakes to decorate before Monday! Ack! I have another Scooby to make, a High School Musical themed cake to make, a cake for Mother's Day that I want to try something a little different with, and then I have to make and do the first coat of icing on a cake for my class on Monday. Wow! Who needs sleep? I don't, I don't!

Speaking of sleep - we had a bit of a crisis last night. I wrapped Chelsea up and put her to sleep at 8:00 - usually we don't hear a peep out of her until 7:00 the next morning... Well, last night at like 10:00, she woke up, cried for 3 seconds and then was quiet. But she did this over the next hour and a half a bunch of times. Cried for an instant, then was quiet. Finally at 11:30 I figured I'd go in and nurse her so she'd be peaceful and get a good sleep.

Well, I go in there and her little legs are stuck in between two rails of the crib! I tried to push them back through, but one was stuck. Now, she's screaming and I'm starting to panic inside, thinking she's got a broken leg, or she's going to get one. I call for Chris to come and help me and we wind up having to cut off her pajamas (they were footie pajamas so we couldn't pull them up) and grease her leg with margarine so we could pull her knee back through. She was fine, and doesn't even have a bruise there, but it was scary! She often kicks the side of her crib, so she must have been doing that pretty hard and her leg slipped right through. Crazy girl.

I gotta go though. The only reason I had time to post this is because I'm at work and I have a prep. I'm going to miss the relaxing days of subbing!

Soccer Cake

I was doubtful, but it turned out pretty good! I'm not 100% happy with the color of the green grass, or the writing on the side of the cake, but all and all, not too bad, I say!

Stay off the sidewalks, Winkler!

Look what $12 buys you off pembinavalleyonline.com!

Scooby Dooby Doo!

This is for my friend's daughter's 5th birthday party tonight. My friend happened to have the Scooby pan and asked me to "smear some icing on".

Here's the result.

Thankfulness.

I know there's so special thing like this passed around in email, but I figured I'd kinda do my own.

I'm thankful for...

- my messy house because I know somewhere under the doghair and dust is a nice house.
- the piles of laundry that need to get done because it means I have a family that wears clean clothes.
- the cupboard doors often being left open, because it reminds me I have a loving, but forgetful, husband.
- the ring around the bathtub because it means we shower.
- my disorganized fridge, because it means it's full of food.
- the toys spread all over the floor because it means my daughter has been happily playing.
- the books tossed carelessly around because I know Chelsea is developing a love of reading.
- my dirty socks in the livingroom because it means I took some time to relax on the couch.
- the dishwasher that needs to be unloaded because it means we enjoyed homecooked food.
- the empty toiletpaper roll still on the holder because it makes me laugh at my husband.
- the fingerprinted window because I have a curious daughter.
- the unmade bed because it means we had a comfortable sleep.
- the busy calendar because it means we have friends who want to see us.
- the dog hair because (this one is a stretch) it means we have a cute, hairy dog.
- the sticky floor under the highchair because it means Chelsea had enough food to eat.
- huge grocery bill because it means we eat healthy.

More for me than for you...

I was thinking the other day about funny things that happened during my labour with Chelsea. I want to write them down to remember them, so this is more for me than for you, but you get to benefit. These are in no particular order.

- I was hungry and didn't want hospital food. Chris went to Dairy Queen. Because they are DQ in Winkler, they messed up our order, but this time, they gave us the wrong bag of food. We only discovered this at the hospital, so we ate it. There was probably enough food to feed a family of 4. Chris just watched in disbelief as I ate 2 double cheeseburgers, large fries, a hot dog and then finished off his burger. I think he was scared.

- When I got to the hospital, they insisted I change into a hospital gown. I HATE hospital gowns. As soon as I could, I changed into my labour "uniform" black shorts and a black t-shirt. I wore this for 2 and a half days before sending it home with my mom to wash and return asap. I seriously made her drive home and back as soon as they were dry. I was particularly attached to wearing these clothes, for some reason.

- Chris had downloaded the entire 3 seasons of Grey's Anatomy to watch while I was being induced. I played it on my laptop while Chris watched movies on his laptop. At one point in time, I had 3 nurses and a doctor watching Grey's with me. I asked if Boundary Trails had as much action going on as Seattle Grace. One nurse answered, "I wish!"

- My parents came out the Friday (I was admitted and began induction on Thursday). They made me walk... a lot. We walked many slow laps around the hospital parking lots. My stepdad kept saying I should run. I think at this point, I may have weighed twice as much as him. All I wanted to do was sit on him.

- Chris made me laugh hard at one point. Then he helped me up out of a chair. We thought I peed on the chair. Turned out, my water had broken.

- On day 3 or 4, I finally asked for the laughing gas. It didn't make me laugh. It just made me slow my breathing down. I'm pretty sure breathing into a pillow would have been just as effective. My husband however, used the laughing gas and started laughing. It made me mad. I think I yelled at him.

- When I finally asked for the epidural, I was bawling. You have to sit at the edge of the bed and kind up curl up so that your spine is sticking out. I was holding onto some nurse's arms as she was crouched in front of me and I looked at her through my tears and said, "This better be the best looking baby I've ever seen. I don't want to go through all this for an ugly baby." Sounds mean, I know. But I had been through a rough few days. Now I find it funny.

- When we got to the hospital, there was a woman labouring without drugs in the room across the hall. After hearing her, I decided drugs would be an okay option.

Okay, I think that's it.

Mr. Clean would be ashamed...

I'm lazy. Tired, and lazy. Not a good combination. I think going back to work is starting to catch up with me. I'm tired. When I get home, I don't want to clean. I want to spend time with Chelsea and then spend time with Chris. I don't want to wash, dry, organize,wipe, sweep, mop, scrub, fold, or tidy. And so, I don't.

My house is a disaster, especially for me. It probably wouldn't look that bad to you, but I'm the girl who used to get up to go pee in the middle of the night and wind up cleaning the bathroom for 45 minutes. My house needed to be spotless. I spent so much time cleaning that I was called obsessed by my friends. Everything needed to be neat.

Now, if I have warning, my house will get cleaned. But, even then, if you value your life, don't open any closets or the pantry - objects have been known to topple down. You might be struck by a kitchen appliance, a box of cereal, a pile of clothes, or who knows what else is hidden away in there. My organizational skills as of late have been lacking. I don't know what it is. I don't know what to blame it on. I'm tired and lazy. I haven't been running or to the gym in a week, and there's absolutely no excuse for that. I said I would go to bed early tonight, and yet, here I sit in bed with the laptop at 11:20. I could be sleeping!

Tomorrow we are skipping church. We were there today from 8:30 - 2:30 for a marriage conference. I want to spend time with Chelsea tomorrow because I feel like I've barely seen her. I, however, also need to clean this house from top to bottom. Having a one year old and cleaning don't seem to go hand-in-hand right now. There's only so many tasks I can do with a little person clinging to my leg.

How do you keep your house clean? Do you have a schedule, or do you just do it as it needs doing?

insanely busy

seriously. so busy. it's driving me bonkers.

i need to clean and organize. when my house is a mess, i am a mess. it's hard for me to cope. right now i'm finding it hard to function because the basement is almost done but my husband has run out of steam... just a little bit more and then i can have a clean house.

i'm working... a lot. unfortunately, most of my working missed the cut off date for being paid, so my check for this month is $245. wow. that's fun.

my baby is doing great with sleeping through the night. i don't get up when she cries and she goes back to sleep in 3-5 minutes. nice

marriage conference tomorrow.

i'm actually working right now but it's silent reading. subbing has it's perks, but i miss having my own classroom and rules.

gotta go.

Sugar pills and Fairy Dust.

Maybe it is psychological, but I'm okay with that. I'm all for placebos, and I do think a lot of being sick is often in our heads. If there is something that you can say, do, or give to me, that although it's a load of hooey, makes me feel better bring it on. Bring on the sugar pills, the magic potions and the fairy dust. If I think it's going to make me better, often, I'll get better. I truly believe that.



With that being said, last night was wonderful, and it wasn't just me - my husband agrees. (No, it's not what you are thinking!) Yesterday, we took off all the dust mite covers off our pillows and mattress and sprayed them down with Norwex's Mattress Cleaner. (I have allergies to dust mites, but so does everyone. If you don't think you do, you are wrong.) Anyways, I sprayed everything down, let it dry, made up the bed all pretty again and we went to sleep. For the first time in forever, my nose wasn't stuffy right after laying down. It wasn't stuffy during the night when I was woken up. It wasn't stuffy at 6:30 this morning when my daughter woke me up for the day. My husband agrees. We like this stuff.



So, does it really make a difference, or do we just think it does? Who cares? If this reduces my Kleenex usuage by even a 1/4, I'm a happy camper.

This and That.

Isn't she just adorable? Yes, I know. She's gorgeous. :)



It has been a very busy two weeks. I've gone back to work about 3 days a week. I wish there was some way for me not to. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but it is really hard to leave her every morning, knowing that I am missing things that she does during the day. I can't hardly wait until the day is done, and I'm rushing out of the school as soon as the bell rings. The adjustment is hard. My house is a mess. I am exhausted. I feel stressed. I'm so busy. I try to be outside as much as possible and take Chelsea for lots of walks. It'll be okay. It's just an adjustment.

I figure if I include lots of pictures nobody will notice that I really haven't posted about much lately. I have lots to say buy right now it could be summed up by saying:

-Amanda's house is messy.

- Amanda wants more time in every day.

- Amanda wishes she could sleep through the night without hearing C cry.

- Amanda loves running and wishes she had more time to do it.

- Amanda thinks her mom needs to come visit (and organize!)

- Amanda needs to plant a money tree.

- Amanda has some pretty awesome friends.

- Amanda is insanely in love with her daughter and husband.

- Amanda loves nursing her daughter and is sad that soon, that will end.

Anyways, I'm done now. :)

The most incredible year...

One year ago today (almost to the minute) you were born. We were so full of hopes and dreams, and yet oh so scared. We had no idea what to expect. Right from the beginning, you showed your personality. You are such an amazing little girl and every single day I am amazed by how overwhelming my love for you really is. I love how goofy you are and how you love making people smile. You aren't shy - you will go up to anyone.

You walk so well now, and even run sometimes. This makes my life very busy. You love emptying the cupboards and playing in the pantry. You know what bowls and drawers I let you play in and you look right at me with a big grin when you reach for something you know you aren't supposed to have. Although you really don't say many words, you communicate your needs well by pointing and asking, "dat?" and you have a funny way of grunting your way through a conversation. You like mimicing grunting and coughing and fake laughing.

You are an adventurous girl. You love roughhousing and being tossed in the air. You really didn't like your infant swing, but much preferred daddy to swing you higher in your carseat. You love climbing on people and are starting to try to climb on things you know you shouldn't (like toys and the coffee tables.)

You love books. We have books in every room of the house for you. For months now, you will sit down with books and flip the pages for a long time. Your favorite books right now are "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss and "Things that Go." You love books that have flaps, so that you can look under each one.

You love playing peekaboo and will play it with anyone and anything. You've played peekaboo with the shower curtain, your soother, and books. You use sign language to say "more". You can play pattycake and you have waved hi and bye for a long time. Your favorite foods are zucchini, asparagus and cheese.

Your newest trick right now is to pull out whatever attempt I use to contain your hair. I can't use pony holders or clips, because you will pull them out right away. Then, you will constantly check to make sure I didn't sneak one back in. This is a tad frustrating because then your hair is in your eyes and covers your beautiful face. I know this is just a phase but I'd really like to do your hair!

You are so sweet. I love every moment of time that I get to spend with you. I look forward to watching you grow and develop into the special little girl that you are. You make me laugh so many times during the day. I often look at you and wonder how we are so blessed to have you.

Chelsea, I don't know what else to say right now. I love you more than the sky has stars. I love you more than the forests have trees. I love you more than I ever thought possible.

Happy Birthday beautiful girl.

Birthday Bash

It's been a while since I've blogged, because I have been so busy. I could write about so many, many things that have happened recently, but I will focus on the major one.

I love birthdays. I seriously do. I think birthdays should be huge. I made a big deal about Chelsea's this year. Chelsea's birthday is tomorrow, but we had her party on Sunday. During the week, I became obsessed with baking Chelsea a cake - a very cool cake. I made a few practice ducks and a lot of practice icing. It turned out pretty good, I think.
I'm now wanting to try baking other types of cakes. I had a lot of fun making this one. Any ideas for cakes I should try next?

And we had a party. A rather large party. I like cooking for people and I made a lot of food. I had fun and I think everyone else did too (or at least, that's what I'm hoping!) There were lots of little kids here, lots of toys, and we had guitar hero and a wii set up in the basement for some of the adults. We also gave C a kitchen with food and plates for her birthday. Some highlights...
Chelsea was also given an AMAZING present from my dear friend Heather. Heather is so creative and made us this for C's birthday.
Yes, we did go overboard for her birthday. What can I say? I just love her to bits.