Smile.

I could let it be another dull, dreary, cold day, but instead, I'm thinking of all the good in my life.

- Although work is really stressing me out and not making me happy, today is jeans day! Not just any jeans day, but skinny jeans and boots day! (Well, for me at least!) Also, I'm bringing a snack to school for the staff. Should be good times!

- Blessing a friend at the school next door for lunch. Chili conqueso dip, chips and cupcakes. Love it!

- My kids get pajama day at Shirlie's today. This means no debates with my 3 year old on what she can wear. She still wears skirts or dresses every day and as soon as we get to Shirlie's, takes off her leggings or tights to have bare legs.

- Pedicures with a great friend tomorrow afternoon. Cannot wait! And yes, I will drive home wearing flipflops, even if it is -40.

- Date night with the hubster. For us, this means supper at the golf course with no kids. We'll take whatever we can get!

- Chris's mom is getter better everyday. We're still praying that the test results show that she's healed. We're asking your prayers that her body will adjust to having fewer lymph nodes and that the swelling stays away. All in all, it's going good!

Smile today. It's a good day.

My art

I'm too much of a perfectionist. I did this freehand, so it isn't as precise as I'd like, but once it's on the wall with a few other things, it'll be perfect!

Our family rules...

Powder Fresh

He was simply too quiet. It was one of those moments where I felt like I should check on him. So, I stopped washing dishes and saw him coming around the corner.

He was not happy when I took the powder away.

But soon realized that he could now make snow angels inside. Score!

Better run!

Uh oh. Mama isn't happy.

Sigh. It only got worse when I looked around the corner. How can it be so bad in such a short amount of time?

And that, folks, was my Monday morning. How's yours going?

Mother Guilt

You know, as a mother, we can be made to so easily feel guilty. There are no easy answers. No gigantic book of parenting that will provide the exact answer to each new dilemma we face every day.

It starts the instant the child is born. Wait! Scratch that. In reality it starts the moment they are conceived. People start giving you advice on what you should eat, how much you should eat, what kind of vitamins you should take, how much rest you should be getting, how you should be exercising, how you shouldn't mowing grass or shovelling snow, how you shouldn't carry your other children because they are too heavy... the list is endless. (Did you know you shouldn't lift your arms above your head? ;) Throw in some criticism for choosing (or not choosing) a midwife versus a doctor and sprinkle it generously with opinions of your weight gain. Too much, too little? OH MAN! IS IT TWINS??

Then the day comes when you reach that glorious 40 weeks! The baby is fully cooked. Hospital birth? Home birth? C-section? Natural labour? Induction? Ooh and then the D word. Are you going to take drugs? Epidural? Laughing gas? And then - breastfeeding or formula feeding? Cloth diapers? And you haven't even held your baby!

Then somehow, some way, you wind up with this perfect little person in your arms. As you are admiring this little miracle, you freeze. OH MAN! IS THAT MY MOM'S NOSE?

Now, you have this stranger in your house that you have to figure out. You are overwhelmed with a million questions and with every answer, the guilt has opportunity to pile on. How do we get our kids to sleep through the night? Should we use bumper pads? Co-sleeping? Do we use a soother? How do we get rid of soothers? When should I introduce solids? Should I buy baby food? Make baby food? How old should my child be to potty train?

Don't worry though. You aren't alone in making any of these choices. Every single person that you meet will have an opinion that they will generously offer to you. Each and every single person will be kind enough to tell you what they did, how they did it and why it was the right way, just in case you weren't feeling inadequate enough.

And this is what leads me to write this blog post. Now, I'm to the point of child-rearing where I have an almost 4 year old, who has turned out pretty okay, and a 19 month old. I've written about this before, somewhere, this mama-guilt, but yesterday I was pretty consumed with it again.

You see, my sweet, amazing, smart, cute, happy 19 month old doesn't speak. He babbles and says sounds like ma, da, ba, na, etc. He calls me Ma, in a deep voice resembling a 40 year old man, and Chris is Da. A few months ago though, he was saying "mama" and "dada" clear as a bell. Now, I am not worried that there is something developmentally wrong with m'boy. He understand what I say and follows directions. He runs, plays, jumps, stacks toys, sorts toys, etc. He plays well with other kids and is such a great kid. But according to the doctor, he should be speaking. GUILT. The concern is that he might not be able to hear.

Sigh. Really? Hearing again? Oh mama with your bad ears. Can we just pick the genes we pass on? Now, I'm fairly sure that his hearing is fine, but I would kick myself for not getting it checked out, just on the off chance that his apparently lack of hearing is causing speech delays. I just feel like this boy got some bad genetics somehow. Add onto that his need for surgery in March, and I just felt a little defeated yesterday.

Can't we pick something that we can blame on daddy, just this once? "I'm sorry Mrs. Hildebrand, but your son is simply too tall to hear what is being said." Yeah, much better.

A pool of krispie

He's going to be a swimmer when he's older. He just dumped the rice krispies in the pantry, laid down on top of the pile and started moving his arms and legs like he was swimming.

I'm sure I'll look back fondly on this day as he's swimming laps at the pool.

11 things in 2011

I like lists, so this might be fairly random.

1. I don't really believe in new year's resolutions. I am a big believer in "Do or do not. There is no try." I don't believe in putting things off until a certain date because there will always be another temptation or another event or another situation that you can use as an excuse to postpone starting for a little longer. Just do it! Even if it is May 4th, or August 12th or September 25th. Make the change!

2. In 2011, I will turn 30. I'm excited. I'm hoping it means a big party. As much as I don't like surprises, I have a feeling I'll just have to accept them this year. This is especially true because I surprised my husband with a day of eating, skydiving and movie watching with his buddies for his 30th. A few of my friends are upset at turning 30, but I found turning 25 WAY harder. Granted, on my 25th birthday we were still dealing with the news that we wouldn't be able to have our own children, but still, for me, 25 was hard. I'm embracing 30!

3. I love baking. There's just something so domestic about it. Now I should clarify, this doesn't include baking cakes for decorating. That's so boring already. Cupcakes are more fun than cakes, but I'm talking baking cookies, dainties, cake balls, muffins, etc. The problem is that my family really doesn't eat baking, although my kids have started to eat some muffins. Carrot is definitely the favourite at the moment.

4. As a way of celebrating my weight loss and my milestone birthday, I've booked the amazing Tiff from tlp photography for a photo shoot at the beginning of Feb. It'll be lots of fun with different outfits and accessories and fun locations. I'm so pumped for this. Now I'm just in need of clothes/dresses in my size! I'm having a hard time not going crazy with shopping, but money is just tight right now, so I'm having to really restrain!

5. 2011 is starting off on a very prayerful note. Many of you know that Chris's mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer on the 23rd. We are believing for a complete healing! She had her surgery on the 6th and the doctors were pleased to find less cancer than they were expecting. We are praising God for that! We are now praying for a quick recovery and more and more healing. We are awaiting test results to see if she will need to undergo chemo and radiation, but again we are fully believing that she is healed.

I know for a fact that I have never ever prayed for anything for so long and so much in my life. I have been pressing in and praising and worshipping constantly. So, although this has been a rotten time for me in some ways, it was a definite wake up call in others. Please join me with your prayers.

6. I am not a winter girl. This is no secret. I'm finding January to be dragging along. I cannot wait for it to warm up. I am always freezing. We pulled out the electric blanket the other day and really, I experience so much joy climbing into a nice warm bed every night. We just switch it on when we're getting ready for bed, brushing teeth, etc and it is soooo toasty.

7. Everyday, I am reminded by how amazing my friends are. I love that I've surrounded myself with people who inspire me to become a better person. Everyday, I feel accepted and loved and this is very much what I need right now.

8. My tastes have changed so much since dramatically changing my eating. I used to wake up every morning craving a diet Coke. I haven't had any pop since Sept. 24th. I used to use Ranch dressing on everything - chicken, veggies, grilled cheese (I know, sounds gross), salad, etc and now my stomach churns looking at it. I LOVE oil and vinegar salad dressing made with just plain grapeseed oil, white vinegar and sea salt. I rarely use any kinds of sauces on my food and I really love eating. Crazy, I know.

9. I'm taking part in a wedding night at Bloom. I am so excited, but scared at the same time! I've never done anything like this! Plus, really, how many more cakes can I take on?? Oh well, it'll be a fun night!

10. I'm so in love with this little boy. The first picture is amazing and totally captures G. The monkey, the book, the lips! Love it!!

11. Last random point - I'm so stinkin' cold. My feet and hands are always freezing. I don't know how to remedy this!

Good night all. What a random post!

Blessed

In all the chaos and bad news that came about during my Christmas holidays, I felt like I lost myself. I was down, discouraged, weepy, and outright doing "the ugly cry" often. It was hard watching Gavin be so sick and having him be so miserable. I lost a $50 gift card. The dog came downstairs chewing something and I realized it was my $350 night guard, and the tears flowed again. Then, Chris was working on someone's Xbox and fried it. He came to tell me that we owed this person $300, and I wasn't even phased. I was like, "Of course we do. I expect nothing more than crap right now." I was so consumed by the bad news that I didn't know how to focus on the good.


However, now that most of that has passed, I am really embarrassed by my attitude. No matter what is going on, I should never EVER expect my life to be crappy. I am a big believer in the power of prayer, and in the power of words. I believe in self-fulfilling prophecy, which basically states that if you believe something to be true, you can bring it about. By stating that I was "expecting nothing more than crap" I was opening up a door for all sorts of bad and wrong to come in. I quickly prayed, changed my attitude and up and told the bad to get out. (I used a few more powerful words to make sure my point got across.)

So now, to reclaim back my "crappy" Christmas and focus on all the good...
- I got to sleep in most days. Sleeping in for me is like 9:30. Chris would then go back to bed from about 10-1, but still, I got to sleep in.

- When my parents were out, we put my step-dad to work. We now have closet doors on our furnace room. Yay!

- I got flannel bed sheets and mini muffin tins. I love them both!

- I got to see one of my best friends from growing up. I love those visits.

- I did get to spend one night away, relaxing with my husband. Most of this time was spent reading. I even got up at 7 in the morning, just to read!

- I bought skinny jeans and 2 pairs of high boots (one pair is heeled even!). I had fun shopping, and really really really had to work hard not to spend too much. Shopping is fun when you are thin!

- I had many many heart to heart chats with a few of my close friends (new and old!). I really felt loved during this whole ordeal. Thank you so much ladies.

- My kids love their presents. We still play with them every day.

- I did lots of baking with Chelsea. I love spending time with her in the kitchen.

- With everything that was going on, I gained a new appreciation for family gatherings. It really changed how I regarded Christmas.

- Chris and I built shelves (out of a door) for the dining room and living room. I LOVE them. I will post pics soon!

- I started painting a canvas for the dining room. I am loving how it is turning out.

It's all about learning to dance in the rain.

2011

Healing.

2010 Christmas in captions...

So Christmas this year was a rough one for me. Not going to lie at all here folks. I went into it feeling a little disappointed that we weren't going to Mexico like we had planned, and it just all went downhill from there. We got some bad, bad news and our kids were sick. Gavin had the flu pretty hardcore, paired with a double ear infection. Chelsea didn't get sick until a few days later, but it's been rough.

However, that being said, the kids are on the mend and prayers are going up like wildfire for the bad, bad news aspect. Also, Christmas with the kids was fun. Although I posted a lot of these on facebook, I wanted a record on my blog too. So, here we go....

My kids aren't big milk drinkers, so Chelsea figured it would be better to leave Santa a cookie with apple juice.

Santa came; Santa came!!
Santa did not, however, bring my son matching, properly fitting pajamas. (Again, I'll defend myself - he had the flu and we were changing his clothes so often that we didn't care what he was wearing because chances are he would be getting changed again in moments.)


Opening stockings is my favourite part of Christmas, hands down. I'm sad I don't get a stocking any more!
Chelsea carefully inspected her box of crafting supplies... Gavin carefully inspecting his new tools...
We bought Chelsea a slinky. She had no idea what to do with it.

I'm not kidding. No clue.Santa brought the largest sucker ever. I am mom of the year and this is a photo of my son eating said sucker at approximately 8 a.m. Love it.
Opening presents was fun times!
So that's a quick caption of our Christmas. I hope yours was fantastic. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pray in the new year. I have a feeling that's what's going to get me through the next little while.

Whoo whoo.

So in the last little while, I've had 6 people come up to me and tell me that they read my blog and I had no idea. I love that there are lots of people reading what I write, even if it is boring, mundane stories about my life and my kids. All I have to say is let me know you are reading. I'm more tempted to write if I know people are reading. I also find that I blog a bit more now that I know that you can get your blogs published in a book format. I think that is a really neat idea and keepsake. It's like journalling old school.

I have a lot to catch up on with my blog. Lots has been happening that needs to get posted, but for now, I'm just going to share a few things about the past 24 hours. Chris and I were supposed to go to the city for a relaxing few days and two nights, but plans changed. Our plans for childcare fell through because my kids both had the flu and we didn't want to pass it on. We wound up giving our friends a really good deal on a hotel room for one night, but did manage to sneak away last night. It wasn't as relaxing as we hoped because we spent most of our time shopping, but it was still a good day out.

I came home from the city with a pair of super skinny jeans and 2 pairs of boots. Love it. I also bought a few shirts and a fun owl ring. Me and my owls, I know.

Then, we met up with friends at The Keg. Mmmm... steak. Seriously, it's a good thing we don't have that restaurant any closer. It's so delicious, but so expensive.

Anyways, a picture from tonight of me and my girl Andrea. I love her to peices and am grateful that we are still friends. She's so beautiful, inside and out. We've been friends since high school and were so close in university that we were dubbed "Amandrea". Then she moved to far far away land to go to school, fell in love with a boy, got married and is now having a baby. I wish she lived closer, but for now, I'll settle for our quick visits when she comes to Manitoba. Love you lady!

And that was the past few days. Soon, I'll hopefully have a Christmas post up (mainly for my sister who has been begging for pictures) and I'm working on a few more. Nighty night!

In case we're not FB friends...

Anyone interested in spending two nights in Winnipeg at the Holiday Inn South? It's for the 28th and 29th. We booked through Priceline so we can't cancel.

I'll give you a smokin' deal because at this point, we're losing out on a bunch of money. :(

Christmas Eve

Last year, we made a gingerbread house on Christmas Eve. This year, I picked out a really cute gingerbread tree. It was fun!

Gavin, sadly, was left out of the gingerbread tree process because he's so sick. But, we did manage to get out our stockings.

(Pardon the horrible picture, but this is all I got before his meltdown.)

Now, we're watching Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer with Chelsea. Have a great Christmas everyone!

What traditions do you have for Christmas Eve?

'Tis the season!

In response to someone telling Chelsea that Santa wasn't real, she said, "Yes he is! I saw him at the mall!"
She brought Santa a nice red bow because it matched his suit. She was so excited to see him this year. Our mall Santa is so great.


She adored sitting on Santa's knee...


Her brother, however, was NOT impressed. In his defense, we did just find out that he has two ear infections and later that evening, he spiked a fever and started throwing up. It has not been a fun couple of days.


We got to open a few presents from Grandma Pat and Grandpa Jerry.
Chelsea was VERY excited to get her tiger!

Christmas this year was supposed to be busy. Usually we are travelling back and forth from my parents' to Chris' parents' but this year, we felt that we should stay home. We tossed around the idea of heading to Mexico, but again, felt that we should stay home. With the way Gavin has been feeling, I'm glad we did. Tomorrow will just be a laid back, family Christmas, the way it should be. Merry Christmas everyone, from our home to yours.

Christmas time.

- I'm addicted to salad right now. I seriously crave it. I've been making my own dressing with grapeseed oil, mrs. dash table blend, and a little too much vinegar. I wake up craving it. So yummy.

- I haven't really mentioned it because I don't like bragging, but, I've lost almost 60 pounds. I've had to reintroduce myself to people who should, but don't, recognize me. It's fun but really awkward at the same time. I hit a VERY major milestone this morning and am super pumped. My losing weight isn't about me wearing a bikini or fitting into a certain size. It's about me not being classified as obese. It's about me and being healthy. I feel so good right now. I love it!

- I wish anonymous commenters were either A) nice, or B) not anonymous. I'm seriously considering checking that little box that disables anonymous comments. This would mean that certain people whom I love (Kim) couldn't comment, but every few months I get an anonymous comment that really bugs me.

- Our Christmas program was Sunday at the church. I'm very disappointed with the pictures. Chelsea was in the back and they didn't line the kids up like it was rehearsed. We couldn't see her and her cute costume at all and she couldn't see her teacher, so she stopped singing and turned around and looked at the back wall. Oh well, at least Gavin and I rocked it - me in my bathrobe and Gavin with a sucker and his monkey.

- We are pretty much ready for Christmas. I'm VERY excited to be staying home this Christmas. This hasn't happened since I started dating Chris. Usually we're driving on Christmas or Boxing Day. Now that we have our own family, we wanted to start traditions of our own, like a laid back, relaxing Christmas morning with just us. It's going to be perfect.

- Speaking of Christmas, I must admit that I am cheap when it comes to Christmas decorations. We don't have a lot of extra money to spend on trees, fancy ornaments, and decorations, nor do I have the room to have that stuff taking up space. I also would like to add that I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old, who are constantly playing with the ornaments/gifts and decorations that I do have. We actually did have to spend money on our tree ornaments this year and buy shatterproof ones because last year, Chelsea broke 4 glass ones.

So, in response to the "Your tree looks cheap!" comment, here is a picture of our expensive, beautifully done up tree. Isn't it beautiful, elegant and expensive looking?

We'll say it's ours, but it lives next door.

- I'm so thankful for my friends right now. I remember last year at this time I was feeling pretty lonely in the friends department. I am so thankful for all the new friends that have come into my life this past year. I love you all, ladies! Muah!

And with that random mumbo jumbo... 'night all!

As creative as I get.

So for our Sunday School concert on Sunday in church, we've been asked to dress our children in "holy land" costumes. Now, my kids don't have bathrobes or anything like that, so I had to be creative. I was given a pack of 6 pillow cases a while ago that didn't quite match any bedding I had, so with a few snips of the scissors, may I present my daughter, dressed in holy pillow cases. :D