Public or Private.

Let me first state that private blogs annoy me. I hate having to log in all the time, even though I click the "remember me" little box. I also hate that my blog feed reader that tells me when someone has updated their blog can't read private blogs, so I have to check each private blog individually to see if it's been updated.

I've loved having a public blog, but it seems the trend lately is for private blogs. There are advantages, sure. Every once in a while I wonder about posting all the pictures that I do, but most of the time, I'm okay with it.

Right now though, I'm just so nosey. I like knowing who is reading my blog and lately I've been getting a lot of hits from Newdale and Neepawa. I'm curious who is reading. Come on - if you've been lurking, introduce yourself! Don't be shy! I want to know who is reading! (This applies to everyone - not just those from those two towns!)

The Great Poop Fiasco of 2009

So I haven't really gone out with both kids and myself just yet. But, the other day I figured I'd pack up and head over to Heather's house to visit while the kids played. Good plan.

So we're happily chilling in the basement, watching the kids play and Gavin was sleeping in his carseat. He wakes up and I lift him out of his seat, only to discover that he's covered in poop and it is smeared all over my arm. Gross, but whatever. I realize I forgot his diaper and wipes in the car and so just as I'm about to go get them, my beautiful, almost potty-trained darling daughter starts walking towards me with her legs spread apart, looking like she's been riding a horse for a week.

"I pooped."

Seriously?? Both kids, poop all over, at the same time?? Is it any wonder that I don't go out in public alone??

Luckily, H volunteered to go get the diapers clean up Gavin, while I was stuck trying to dump poop out of panties, and clean up C. Changing a poopy diaper is much more pleasant than cleaning poopy panties, let me tell you.

There you have it. Poop, poop and more poop.

And just to finish on a cleaner, cuter note...

Labour After Thoughts

- I insisted on stitches not staples. The doctor who was supposed to do my c-section was off call that weekend, and she is one of the few doctors who does sutures, not staples. When I asked Dr.M. to do stitches, he seemed annoyed and asked me why I wanted them and I just kept saying that I heard they were better. His response was, "well, I'll give it a try, I guess." Really, it's not like you staple on the inside, how big of a deal is it??


- My recovery has been amazing. I was walking around 6 hours after my surgery and the next morning insisted that my IV and catheter be removed so I could shower and wear normal clothes. I'm sure a part of this is not having staples. I feel so good. I have to be reminded by Chris to take it easy.

- The toughest part of my recovery was last week and the back pain I experienced. The doctor thinks that a big part of my back pain was how hard I was making Chris press for counter-pressure, and he even checked for bruising. :) It felt good at the time. A lot of the pain though was from having back labour for so stinkin' long.

- Every time I saw Dr. M. after the surgery I teased him about the stitches, telling him that I was going to spread the word that he did them for me and he was going to have ladies lining up for him to do their surgery. The nurses were surprised that he agreed because apparently he can be pretty cranky. I didn't find him cranky, just awkward. The first time he checked on me, he awkwardly rubbed my knee and the second time he kept rubbing my elbow. Maybe in "Bedside Manner Class" he was told that physical contact with patients is a good thing? I don't know, but it made for some odd moments.


- When Gavin was finally born, Dr. K., the anesthesiologist, announced, and this is a direct quote, "It has balls!" I remember saying something about his eloquent announcement, but he just laughed and said, "well, he does!"


- Both the midwives that I had seen my entire pregnancy and the doctor who I had been consulting with were off call the weekend I delivered. I was disappointed, but at the same time, I had an amazing midwife and a great doctor, so it all worked out in the end. I did feel bad for the midwife because we hadn't met until I was in labour, so I feel like she might not have gotten the best impression of me, what with all my groaning and telling her to stop talking, and getting angry at the contractions. At least my midwives that I had been seeing knew me a little and had seen my personality when I wasn't in pain.


- As much as I had been dreading staying at the hospital again, this time really was much more enjoyable. Many of the nurses knew and remembered me from my first c-section and then my appendectomy and came to say hi. Don't get me wrong - the food was still horrible and the rubber mattress on the bed hadn't changed, but I didn't dread every minute that I was in there.


- Why does the hospital insist on having someone come into your room at 5:30 every morning to fill your ice water?? Are patients parched at this particular time? It would wake me up every time no matter how hard they tried to be quiet.

- The same goes for lab work. The lab tech would cheerfully come into my room at 7 a.m. every morning, turning on the lights and opening the blinds to come and take her vials of blood. I don't get it. Are we not supposed to sleep past 7? Was the closed door and dark room not enough of an indication that I was indeed sleeping?

- Ooh and let's not forget the dreaded breakfast that arrives at 8. Cold, soggy, unbuttered toast (served with marmalade - who eats marmalade??), and unsalted porridge. Mmm... sign me up. Yuck.

I think that's it for now. Hopefully now I can move on to other exciting topics for my blog, rather than pregnancy, labour and hospital stays.

Long labour story

My labour and birth story. This is definitely more for me than for you. I'm not sure if I'll wind up posting this because it is ridiculously long, but I wanted to write it down while I remembered it.

Wednesday, June 10

I had an ultrasound because I was 41 weeks. Everything looked good and they estimated that the baby would be 9lbs 14oz.

Thursday, June 11

At my midwife appointment, it was determined that the baby was still way too high and that a natural labour looked almost impossible. I was meeting with the doctor on Friday who would be doing my c-section, if I would need one. My midwife told me to prepare myself for a c-section possibly that Friday, or the following Tuesday. It looked like my hopes of having a natural labour were being dashed.

Around 2 in the morning, I realized I was having a bad night's sleep, waking up every 10 minutes or so having some pretty bad back pains. I was excited! (Little did I know what would come of this. Perhaps that excitement should have been fear!) I also was pumped to discover that I was losing my mucus plug. Possibly too much information, but you don't understand. With Chelsea, my body showed no signs of labour, ever. This was all me - all my body, doing what it was supposed to. Woo hoo!! The contractions continued every 10-11 minutes, all Thursday night and were intense enough that I had to get out of bed each time to find a better position. It was a long night, but I managed to sleep between contractions.

Friday, June 12

I met with the doctor who would be performing my c-section, if I needed one. I was still having contractions, so we decided to schedule a c-section for Tuesday, June 16, if I needed it. Again, I was told that the baby was still way too high but we were hopeful that the contractions would help bring him down. The contractions were coming about every 10 minutes, but were easy enough to breathe through and continue on my day.

Friday night, around 8:30, the contractions became intense again - every 6 or 7 minutes, lasting a minute or so. My midwives were actually off-call this weekend, so a different midwife (who also was amazing) came to my house to check me and see how things were going. We discovered that I was about 2 cm dilated and that the baby had dropped slightly. Progress was being made. She told me to give her a call when the contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart and we'd meet at the hospital later that night, or by morning for sure.

That night was crazy intense. I was up the whole night, because laying in bed was too painful. I did all sorts to ease the pain of contractions - different positions, showering, a hot bath, using counter pressure (thanks Chris), massage, and breathing. All through this, I remained excited, thinking that this way all progress and signs that things were moving in the right direction.

However, Saturday morning, around 7:30 in the morning, the contractions started to go away. Disappointed, I called the midwife to say that the contractions were again about every 10 - 15 minutes apart. She told me to take the day to sleep as much as I could because it was her experience that the labour would probably begin again at night. I spent the day sleeping, only getting up for a few minutes at a time. I was exhausted.

Saturday night, the contractions began again... slowly at first about every 10 minutes, then 7 minutes, then consistently about every 6 minutes apart. I called the midwife that was oncall and let her know what was going on. She said to phone her when they were about every 4-5 minutes apart, lasting for about a minute. We planned to just meet her at the hospital.

During the night, we tried to sleep but it wasn't working well. By 12:30, we were up and around, labouring mostly in the kitchen. My contractions suddenly went from every 6 minutes apart to every 3 - 3 1/2 minutes apart. Chris wanted to phone the midwife with the first 3 minute contraction, but I wanted to wait. I didn't want to wind up going to the hospital only to have the contractions slow down again.

But after about 45 minutes of contractions every 3 minutes, we called the midwife and set off to good old Hotel Boundary Trails at 3:30 in the morning. We met the midwife there and laboured for a while just moving around, trying different positions. I had to get my dreaded IV put in (I have a serious HATRED of the IV), but the nurse did well and got it in on the first try. I was pretty proud of myself for not crying during the IV process. My midwife began to fill the birthing pool and just before I got in, she checked and I was at 6cm. I was pumped that things were happening, but again, we were concerned because the baby was just too high up. We were hoping the contractions would bring him down.

I got in the birthing pool and it felt like instant relief... for a few minutes. I was able to relax in the pool between contractions, but my contractions were certainly intense and painful. Chris joined me in the birthing pool so that it was easier for him to apply counter pressure on my back during each contraction.

One of the concerns with the baby being so high is that if my water were to break and gush, the cord can come out and over the baby's head. On Thursday night, the midwife had told me that if my water were to break and gush at home (not a slow leak) that I was to get on my shoulders and knees and call 911. That scared me, so I was glad to be at the hospital when my water did break. It broke while I was in the birthing pool, so my midwife checked me right away and everything was good. I'm still a little disappointed that I didn't get to see the gush, but I'm over it.

I have no clue how long we stayed in the birthing pool. I had lost all track of time by now. When my water broke, I had been at 8cm, but we discovered it wasn't a true 8, and when the water broke it was really only 6cm. We decided to get out of the pool and try some different positions to ease the pain of contractions and hopefully bring the baby down.

Easier said than done. My contractions suddenly started coming back to back. I'd have 4-5 minutes of contractions and only 30 seconds to a minute to recover. I thought I was going to die. I'm sure I was saying inappropriate things and making rather odd noises. At this time, my body started pushing, attempting to get the baby down into the canal. It wasn't working, and during each contraction I was being told to stop pushing and breathe, but I swear it wasn't me pushing! It was crazy. I begged for drugs as I was somewhere between 6-8 cm and wasn't getting a break between contractions. While waiting for the glorious anesthesiologist to show up for my epidural, I was given the laughing gas and something in my IV. Even this was such a relief. I was at least able to breathe and felt like I was flying. In response to something my midwife asked me, all I could say was "I'm in la la land. I love this." I remember asking if the midwife was mad that I was taking drugs and she reassured me that all was good and that drugs were for women who had long intense labours and I had earned it. I was happy.

I think I fell in love with my anesthesiologist. I'll call him Dr. K. He was fantastic, although I don't remember too much because I was sucking back the laughing gas like it was a vanilla milkshake. He was reassuring and telling jokes and was encouraging. When I got the epidural, I was sooo pleased because it actually worked. When I had Chelsea, the epidural didn't work like it was supposed to and I could still feel every contraction, but couldn't move my legs. This time, it worked like a charm - almost. I could feel no more pain in my back or belly and could walk around, but because of the way the baby was positioned, I could feel every contraction in my bum. It was painful and odd. Dr. K. came back and put something in my IV for bum pain. Who knew there was such a wondrous drug?

Shortly after the epidural, but before the bum pain meds came, the baby's heartbeat began to show signs of stress. I had to lay on my side and be hooked to the monitors. They told me it would only be for 20 minutes, so I thought I could handle it. Although the epidural was working, the bum pain was ridiculous and it was magnified by the fact that I couldn't move. I had to lay there on my side and not move during each contraction. Although they told me 20 minutes, because they were concerned, I had to be monitored for over an hour. It was horrible, but sometime in there Dr.K. showed up and used his magical powers to take away the bum pain and I was able to relax and even rest a little.

Soon, I was up and walking around, dilated to a full 8 cm. This was around 11:00 in the morning. The problem was that even though I was feeling no pain (it was AMAZING!) my body was still pushing with every contraction. This isn't a good thing. My cervix began to swell and that's when we knew it was over. The baby was simply not coming down and once the cervix swells, it takes too long to recover to let it dilate again. I was given until 1:00 to see what my body would do, but we weren't hopeful. At 1:00 Dr.M. shows up and says that this has gone on long enough and it was time for the c-section. At this point, no one could argue. I had done my best, given my body every opportunity to do what it could, but it wasn't working. Another c-section it was. I was at peace with this. I had tried, but it simply wasn't working.

Suddenly the room was filled with people and I don't remember much. As I was being prepped for surgery, everything caught up with me and I fell asleep. I remember thinking that they must have put something in my IV to make me sleepy but everyone was laughing at how I just slept through it all, all by myself. No extra drugs, just pure exhaustion.

In the operating room, Dr. K. was by my side the whole time - again reassuring me, distracting me and trying to stop my shivering with warm blankets. They didn't need to give me a spinal, they were able to use the epidural. This was great because I still had full use of my hands and arms and I didn't need another injection site in my back. With C, I couldn't feel my hands for a long time after the surgery which made bonding with the baby very difficult.

Chris soon joined me and we waited with anticipation to meet our baby boy. We were all talking and laughing and waiting for this baby to make his appearance. Having a c-section really is a surreal experience because there is so much going on beyond that little blue curtain, but you have no idea what it is.

I kept asking what was taking so long because I had been told that from the first incision to getting baby out takes only 7-8 minutes and it felt way longer. Again, I was unaware of what was really going on. The baby was so stuck that they had to work hard using forceps to get him out. Then, because he had pooped, he was taken away for a few moments to get cleaned up and suctioned out. I'm told they had to work a bit to get him to breathe, but finally we were presented with the most amazing little boy.

What an ordeal. What an experience. What a long blog post.

Love.

Finally!

Gavin Christopher 10lbs 4 oz

21.5 inches long

born Sunday, June 14 at 2:46 p.m.

More to come later!

This post brought to you by the letter C.

Well, since I'm still around with no baby to hold just yet, I thought I'd write a post about my Little Miss C. She is ridiculous amounts of fun. She talks non-stop. Some of my favourites are:
- "I do it all my by-self." (I hear this one a lot.)
- "Where that noise coming from?" (in reference to ANYTHING)
- "Where my... (insert any of the neighbour's names here) at?" (She's a touch in love with the neighbours.)
- When asked why she did something... "Because I don't know..."
- "I don't know either"
- "I love you lots, Mommy."

- "Mommy, come follow me!"

- "I sorry, Mommy. Kiss better?"

- "No more camera. I no like pictures."

- "Turn 'round. I do your hair now."

and my favourite.... said in her very high pitched excited voice, "Mommy! I so proud of you!!"

You can tell she hears that phrase a lot at Shirlie's and at home.

There are a whole bunch more that I just can't think of. She just makes me laugh and laugh.

On another note, it's no secret that I love garage sales. I bought Chelsea a helmet and a princess scooter for $6. $6! She loves it and is pretty good at it already. It's got flashing lights, streamers, and a bell.

She will play with her "sooter" for a long time. Until of course, she gets distracted by a bug.

Well, there you have it. A picture post of my big girl.

Oh, and my favourite quote from her lately? She lifted my shirt and yelled at my tummy - "Baby - get out!"

I concur.

Confessions...

I have fear about this labour that I can't let go of. I know there is still some time and things can happen, and I am praying that they will, but there are no signs of anything anytime soon. So, keep praying!

But, I want to be real. I really want a VBAC. I did not want a c-section with Chelsea, and wound up being induced for 4 days before it finally ended with a c-section. They started inducing me when I was 6 days overdue, and I had her 4 days later. I was the girl who wanted a natural labour with no drugs. A c-section was my worst nightmare. And that's what happened.

After the experience, I didn't think my recovery was that bad, but I've been told that a c-section recovery is way worse. My first experience was also tainted because my appendix ruptured a month after C was born and I wound up back in the hospital for another 10 days. Jokingly, I told the doctor when C was born to put in a zipper because I was never going to go through that labour again. When a month later, I needed to have another abdominal surgery, I again asked for a zipper!

This time around, I wanted it differently. I was given the opportunity many times to choose to have a scheduled c-section. Oh the convenience... to know exactly when I'd be in the hospital and for how long. To know when I'd get to meet my son. To know how to arrange childcare for Chelsea. To know when to pack my bags. To know all these unknowns. This would have been nice.

However, I do know that the best thing for me and for my baby is to try. I'm looking forward to an easier recovery, to knowing that my body finally did what it was supposed to, to know that I did it.

But as time passes, I'm sensing a repeat of what happened with Chelsea. I'm overdue (and yes I realize it's only 4 days) but there are NO signs of anything happening. He hasn't dropped and isn't in the proper position. There are many other things that I could tell you aren't happening, but I'll leave that all to your imagination.

Good things I need to focus on:

- I'm in MUCH better shape this time around than I was with Chelsea.

- I needed to be induced with C because my blood pressure was high and my liver was showing signs of not working properly. With the exception of the last 2 weeks I was at work, my blood pressure has been amazing and everything is great.

- I was retaining sooo much water with C. I had carpal tunnel and couldn't hold a pen, razor, or anything. I had to wrap my wrists to sleep. My wedding rings were long gone. My toes were sausages and my ankles were officially cankles. This time, none of that. (and my rings are still on! PTL!)

- I know that I have done everything to encourage a natural labour. I have amazing midwives and I have jumped on the trampoline, bounced on the birthing ball, stood (is that what you do?)on my hand and knees, pumped, gone swimming, taken herbs, visualized, prayed, done squats and lunges and who knows what else to get this guy to drop. I am doing my part.

- I know that I have done all that I can to avoid a c-section. If it still happens, it isn't my fault.

Things that scare me.

- IVs. I HATE IVs. HATE HATE HATE

- surgery and the risks of infection.

- risk of fluid in the baby's lungs because it doesn't get squeezed out.

- how I'll handle a c-section recovery with a toddler.

- having to spend 4 days in the hospital. I don't really like the hospital.

I'm just really scared that it's going to be a repeat. I'm scared of being induced again only to have another c-section.

So there you have it. Fears. I hope they aren't what's holding me back. I release all this now. I don't want fear. I want freedom and peace no matter how this plays out. All I really want at the end of this is to see my healthy baby boy. So c'mon baby! I'm sure you are much cuter than the view I see every day!

40 weeks!

Well, I made it. 40 weeks. Crazy. I thought at 40 weeks I was big with Chelsea, but checking out my 40 week photo with this baby, I am a TANK! Look at how round the belly was with Chelsea and how pointy it is this time. I think it's a boy. ;)

Oh and a few people have commented that I really haven't gotten much bigger in the past few weeks. Well, I haven't gained any weight (I actually lost about 14 pounds in the past few months), but this picture shows my belly 5 weeks ago, and then last night (June 3 - my due date).

I see a whole lot of belly growth, don't you??

I do have to brag about something. I am still wearing my wedding rings. :D With Chelsea, I retained so much water, I had to stop wearing them around 30 weeks, and I hated having to take them off. This time, I'm retaining very little water thanks to a trick my midwives told me. I love it!

Anyways, there is no signs of anything happening soon, so keep praying! I would like this baby out soon!

Still here.

Hi. I'm still here. Baby is still tucked away in my tummy. Not really sure what to blog about, but I just thought I'd give you an update. :) I'm due on Wednesday - any guesses as to when Walter's going to make his appearance?

Fencing in!

Before and Afters...

Looking at our friendly neighbours to the north. (They had already built their side of the fence, so really, we only had to add 2 sides to our yard and enclose this in.)


(Please also note the light attached to the house in the before and after photos. Chris had fallen off the roof one day and grabbed the light on his way down (don't worry he was wearing a harness/rope system), and decided after months of me asking, to finally fix the light!)

There is a double gate connecting our little piece of fence to the neighbour's section of fence.



The old view of our backyard...

The new view, with the slide and trampoline moved. Sorry these before and afters aren't very accurately taken. And finally the last side...

Looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. So glad it's done!

To do

I didn't realize it had been so long since I blogged! I guess I've been pretty busy making cakes and playing with Chelsea (and the neighbours!) We've built a fence over the past few weekends and it will make life so much easier. (I'll post pictures tomorrow). I can let C play outside by herself for a few minutes without worrying that she is going to run across the street. This weekend was gorgeous, so we were outside pretty much every minute. I painted my plant pots, and started weeding my flower garden. I'm pretty sure my neighbour felt sorry for me, because she soon came over and took over the weeding and edging of my flower beds. It was great! It looks so much better already.

I've also been working on checking things off my "To-Do Before Baby" list. I'm not doing too bad. I'm sure there's still lots I'm forgetting.

- buy newborn diapers, baby wash, soothers, etc. (Done)

- hang shelves in nursery to keep these items away from Little Miss C. (Done last night)

- buy grossly unflattering and unshapely nursing bra. (Done)

- pack hospital bag (Not sure this will be completely done until we're on our way to the hospital.)

- figure out and buy what I want to wear during the water birth. (Done)

- pack bag for Chelsea. (pretty much done. I've been making sure all the laundry is done, so if I am away for a few extra days, her clothes are all organized and ready in her dresser.)

- pack "Walter's" things for coming home. (Done)

- get out the carseat and bassinet. (Done)

- install carseat. (Chris says he's not doing this until the baby is born.)

- organize and wash all the baby clothes I bought at garage sales. (Done)

- get pedicure. (Done - but I'd gladly do it again!)

- get music ready to take to the hospital for during labour

- download some movies to watch in case labour sucks and is long

- announce daily to some stranger that "yes, I am about to pop" and "yes, I'm sure it's not twins". (Done)

- refrain from punching said stranger. (Done - so far.)

- charge battery for video camera. (Did today)

- pack extra batteries for still camera

- get phone list ready. (Done- unless we forgot someone)

- feel over-emotional and on the verge of tears for dumb reasons. (Done, done, done)

- organize the pantry and desk area so that I'm not embarrassed if my mom comes to stay at short notice. (Done - thanks to Ang!!!)

- ditto for keeping the rest of the house clean (m'eh - trying to keep on top of it.)

- be utterly grateful for this healthy baby and the fact that I am feeling so good. (Done - often)

- nap often (I try!)

- humbly ask for help when I get stuck on the couch (done every night!)

- try to enjoy the last few days... or weeks... or month (ouch) of feeling Walter move inside. (Done. I LOVE feeling the baby move inside. I always miss this.)



Now, what else do I need to do?? This baby could be here any day!

And because a post just isn't fun without pictures, here's C on her "big slide" I found at a garage sale.

Sit'n'Stand thanks to Grandma Pat!

So with a new baby on the way, we knew we'd need a different stroller. We love our Graco stroller for Chelsea, but knew we'd need some kind of double stroller once Walter arrived. My good friend H suggested a Sit'n'Stand stroller. I had never heard of such, and after seeing them online, thought it would be perfect!

It's got a seat in the front for the baby (when he's a little older) but the front seat, also has a bar that attaches so that your bucket car seat fits in the front, facing you. (We tried to get a picture of the bucket in the front, but Chelsea just wouldn't let us.)

It also has a seat at the back for your older child to either sit, facing you...

or stand, facing forward

I hope Chelsea likes it. She loves it now, without the baby, so we'll see what it's like once he arrives. Thanks Grandma Pat and Grandpa Jerry!

Potty Party

I've been off for a week and I love it. It's been great. Spending extra time with Chelsea has been fun, but I can't believe how tired I am! I'm waiting for Chelsea's naptime every day just so I can sleep!

As for potty training, I have taken a very laid back approach. I realize that Chelsea's world is going to change dramatically when the baby comes, so I don't want pressure her too much. She's been known to say things like "I like diapers" and "I don't like the potty" so I'm not going to force her too much.

The other day, she went pee once on the potty and was rewarded with a gummy worm. But after that, insisted she wanted a diaper, so she wore a diaper.

Today, every time she wet her diaper, she'd take it off, so I started asking her if she wanted to go on the potty. She'd try and nothing - fine, no biggie. Then at lunch she asked if she could go on the big potty and she DID - let's just say #1 and #2! We were VERY excited! After this, she kept asking a bunch of questions about people we know, asking if they wore underwear or diapers. I think she's cluing in that diapers are not the way to go. She went pee again on the potty later and this time, shared some of her gummy worms with the girls next door. She was very happy.

I know this may all be too much information, but it's been my life for the past few days! So hey, I hope you are enjoying some of the sunshine and getting excited about something of your own - whether it's a potty party or something a tad more interesting.

Fun in the Sun, finally!

So I've been off work for a few days now, but I honestly think I rest more when I'm at work. I've been so busy at home - it's been crazy. Although, I must say that I love the warm weather! We are outside a lot!

I have lots to still do today, but I figured I'd post a few pictures.

I found a walker at a garage sale. Chelsea thought she's crawl in to show me how it worked.

We've also played at a lot of parks and played a lot at the parks over the past few days.

Saying "Cheese" for the camera.

A natural monkey...
Rock climbing already!

And I hear C in the monitor now, so I guess relaxing time is over.